+----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | The Olympia Times issue g2-92 | | November 17, 1998 | | | | turn 92 360 players http://www.pbm.com/ | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+
Questions, comments, to play: firstname.lastname@example.org
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Lord Foul and other pundits,
I speak only for myself or, possibly, for the Crimson Dragons. When I speak for the Eagle Alliance, I will state so in an obtrusive manner and with the full authority of my Eagle allies.
Thank you, Que of the Roost
-- Eridanus [gh2]
Greetings Olympians and a special hello to all Drassans.
If you are in the northwestern region of Olympia, please take a moment to look at our web household at: http://www.ip.pt/~ip231870/HoL.htm
It includes a map of the Kingdom of Cragstan and the surrounding area as well as important information for anyone wishing to visit our territory.
Live long and prosper, Lord Ralek Arkham Speaker for the House of Lords Kingdom of Cragstan
-- House of Lords [tq9]
Greetings from the Jackal Alliance!
The Jackal Alliance resides north-east of Port Aurnos between the noble Bandit Lords to our south and trustworthy TIBS to our north.
Rumor of war and controversy has been heard from both the Bandit Lords and TIBS. Jackal territory continues to enjoy peace having good relations with all of our neighbors. Anyone travelling through this region is encouraged to contact us information.
All nobles are welcome to travel freely throughout Jackal territory. Jackal claims rights to all resources and markets within our territory. We are happy to talk with anyone interested in settling in the region. We are always looking for new members or to lease access to unused resources.
-- Lomar 
In need of more troops or a second flank? How about an armed escort through hostile wilderness or dangerous waters? Then contact "The Brotherhood of the Red God" (The BoRG), and for a modest fee we can send an escort by caravan on land or via ship in dangerous waters. In general we are swords for hire and for the right price, will attack almost any target. Please visit our web site at www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/1843/borg.html or contact us at email@example.com
May the Red God smile upon you
-- Wodan [d987]
* Pegasus Aviary-Stables *
is Open for Business
We boast generations of experience as master horse breeders and trainers! We produce the finest equine beasts in all of Provinia. Pegasus Aviary-Stables uses only the most prolific top grade studs and our stock of flying thoroughbreds is the envy of stablemasters everywhere. On sale in Land's End, Southmarche, starting this month - Winged Horses for 300 gold a head.
-- Evanshen [w388]
Good morning is a contradiction in terms.
-- Tiger IIth [s634]
The Rimmon Musketeers hereby declare War on the Lords of the Crown.
--the Lords of the Crown have continuously maintained a huge military buildup since before the Yellowleaf Accord;
--the Lords of the Crown have conquered the lands of the Undying Banner and Horselords;
--the Lords of the Crown intend to conquer the Inner Circle, with no offer of peace made;
--the Lords of the Crown have received massive reinforcement in troops and gold from overseas.
After much observation and grim discussion, we have concluded that the Lords of the Crown intend to conquer Provinia. Their timetable is open to question. Their intent is clear in both words and deeds. Whether they are a vanguard of Eagle, or beneficiaries of Camaris based rivalries, their offshore support heightens the danger.
We choose to fight now, before Codric's strength overwhelms even the Musketeers, while there are still allies to fight with.
May Kygor light our path and strengthen our blows!
Lord Maltar Rimmon Musketeers All for One and One for All!
-- Maltar 
Repent now fools! Or face the wrath of the Hamster Lord!!!
So with the Bandits losing all their castles in the west side of their realm, it looks like a lot of territory is up for grabs around Port Auronos. Some enterprising new arrival could cut a deal with the SOA and set up a new realm.
We hear that there are rumors of war around... This does please us! Don't get us wrong, but war is simply too good for business not to be pleased!
Sir Codric smells of elderberries! And his father was a hamster!
Lord Foul ! I don't care what you claim I know you are evil and rude. You make Sir Codric look like mother Teresa in comparison. You claim to help many I have never met one. First I will slay those Egraal morons and then I will come for your pompous butt. If the Musketeers get in the way I will slay them also. Your days are numbered foul one.
--- If I ever become an Evil Overlord: --- (A 23-Step Self-help Program reprinted as a public disservice) 1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones. 2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl though. 3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon. 4. Shooting is not "too good" for my enemies. 5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. 6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them. 7. When the Rebel Leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, "Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?", my reply will be: "No, just sensible." 8. When I've captured my main adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No", and shoot him. 9. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out 10. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push." 11. I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined to overthrow me, I'll do it myself. 12. I will not interrogate my enemies in my inner sanctum, a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well. 13. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or by leaving my weaker enemies alive to show that they pose no threat. 14. I will not waste time making my enemy's death look like an accident: I'm not accountable to anyone and my other enemies won't believe it. 15. I will make it clear that I _do_ know the meaning of the word "mercy": I simply choose not to show them any. 16. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation. 17. All slain enemies will be cremated, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any sort of celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal. 18. My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as part of my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots, or adhere to any other dress codes. 19. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, meal, cigarette, or any other form of "last request". 20. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find such a device absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation. 21. I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad scientist to help me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently twisted to never regret his evil ways & try to undo the damage he's caused. 22. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know." 23. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
Hey TIB, how would one go about contacting you? Are there appropriate channels, or is is just talk to the nearest noble/faction?
Lord Foul.....Foul? LOL HA HA HA HE HE HO HO Now thats the funniest thing I've heard all day. You despots keep up the good work and keep the humor in Olympia through your obvious ignorance.
To: Brotherhood of Shao-Lin [ew7]
The Bandit Lords have already claimed column 34 from cz34 to the sea.
We have had the area garrisoned since turn 69 (June, 1998). We welcome peaceful relations with our new neighbors. However, as a courtesy, we request that you acknowledge our claim the column 34 in the Olympia Times.
"There is no panacea for peace that can be written out ina formula like a doctor's prescription. But one can set down a series of practical points - elementary principles drawn from the sum of human experience at all times.
Study war and learn from its history.
Keep strong, if possible. In any case, keep cool.
Have unlimited patience.
Never corner an opponent, and always assist him to save his face.
Put yourself in his shoes - so as to see things through his eyes.
Avoid self righteousness like the devil - nothing is so self blinding.
Cure yourself of two commonly fatal delusions - the idea of victory and the idea that war cannot be limited"
The Captain who taught Generals
Come 'ere little doggy... Have I got something for you.
>As the stories from other dimensions were told. But >here in Olympia did they hold? >Keep in mind a lesson learned, of paradox and those >who have been burned. >For there Lord Bane was good. But here, Evil and >misunderstood. >As foul as Lord Foul may sound, Just ask those who >have been around.
The stories did not hold, but only because we were told. The ones who took the fire, surely they can be called liars? There a mouse roared, and here it appears to hoard. (Although the hoard so vast is ours at last) As much as Foul claims "I'm cool," we in the circle know that he's a fool.
To all who care to hear. A new website will be available in the near future. keep your ears open to future announcements.
Well, Lord Foul protests mightily, heh-heh. I'll pass on the private heart to heart, though. I've seen some of what Foul says in private, And I think that Foul says as his audience will hear.
New question for you milord Foul. Where is it that you plan to invade LOTC? You've been working up to it for a long time, You must be about ready by now. All for one, and everything for us, that's the motto, isn't it?
You'd be surprised what I hear from the shadows.