+----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | The Olympia Times firstname.lastname@example.org | | June 21, 1992 v4n5 | | | | | | Turn 28 125 Players "Curls get girls" | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+
Turn 29 orders due: Friday, June 26, 1992 Turn 30 orders due: Friday, July 3, 1992
Orders are due 6:00pm EDT, 22:00 GMT.
Questions, comments, bug reports, to play: email@example.com
Where are where did they go? Well.. I am sure my troops will catch up with me sooner or later. Anyways... has anyone seen Spiney Norman yet? If so... please let us know which way he went!
Merlinium, and the Magicians Guild,
You ask for evidence.... what more evidence can someone want than a man who has already confessed to the crimes at hand. Tim the Magician was indeed in League with Spiney Norman as we have heard from Norman himself. Simply because a man begs forgiveness is not reason to say, OK lets let him go. We have Tim the Magician in our possession, and hope you can see that whatever end does befall him (whether it be freedom or death or whatnot is still under discussion), then we hope you will see clear to accept this justice.
I, Rocko 'The Truth' Zigarelli, have claimed the provinces of Port Aurnos, Tollus, and South Charrick. These provinces are under my protection. Any units passing through those provinces do so at my discretion.
In these provinces, the following rules hold:
1) There shall be no combat, except as a matter of police action. Police actions will be carried out by Rocko or his representative.
2) Units of factions other than my own are limited in size to 15 men.
3) No entertaining is allowed without a license. Apply to Rocko for a license.
Violators of these rules will be firmly escorted out of my territory. These terms are not negotiable. I will not interfere with any units that wish to leave my lands.
In order to protect the citizens of these areas, I will have units that are cooperative with the world. Visitors may stack with them for protection. Details on these units will be forthcoming. I expect all visitors to these lands to contact me before entering. If not, you risk being dumped in Sallen Swamp.
-- Rocko the Recluse
* * * The Dragaeran Trading Company Reminds You Yet Again * * *
The Olympia turn checker!
It's a floor wax! It's a dessert topping!
This marvel of the mideval age reads in turn commands, checks syntax, and prints out an english version of the commands for easy checking. No longer will you buy 5 of 6 instead of 6 of 5. It also does reasonability checks (ie. you can't buy Osswid, and you can't terrorize a rug).
Binaries for Next, Vax, Sparc, Decstation and Sun3 machines running UNIX are available from shrimp.cs.washington.edu in pub/olympia. Source code is NOT available, so don't ask.
Comments/questions/bug reports to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Note: For bug reports, please include the line that triggered the bug, and the output the checker gave.
Greetings all, A large group of faeries has taken up residence in the forest region of Dezarne. All travelers in the vicinity are urged to exercise caution least you end up with your pockets stuffed with faery gold. Sarogin Bellewood
The black and white banner -- Per pale Argent and Sable an Owl displayed counterchanged. It blew wildly in the winds comming off the Gulf of Caburh. The winds howled as they passed the Warriors Tower, standing over East Urvil like a giant on guard. Touchstone looked up from his book. He looked across at the tower and rubbed his chin. "Tongue and groove stonework... must be dwarven. Very impressive," he said, in a serious voice. "Keep you own tongue in and keep studying," Varian said loudly, looking over at him from the fire. He turned back to one of his soldiers sitting next to him. "So, what have you found?" "We found a man by the name of Nogard," the soldier said. "He is wandering the streets aimlessly. We have a bet going as to how many days it will take him to get mugged." "I think we should save him some trouble. Make plans," Varian said. "And the woman, Aeira?" "She is listening attentively," the soldier said. "We should have her convinced soon. What about the Men in Black? Will the minstrels be singing any more verses of 'I'm Henry the 8th'? The Men in Black are certainly being terrorized but after three weeks, I can hear it in my sleep!" "No, the Players will be going out into town next month to earn their keep." "Thank God!" the soldier said. "So, next month we will take Nogard into protective custody, you can try to finish bringing Aeira over to our side and start working on Daeron. After that, pick up two men and train them so that the Players will have some protection should they start traveling alone," Varian ordered. "Very good, sir," the soldier replied. He stood and walked off. "Now, let's see if I can get some people organized," Varian said to himself, "so that next year, we can be ready for Pain." He took out his quill and some paper and started writing letters to the other residents of the North.
Roving Reporter's Column ========================
Ongoing Sagas =============
I hear that, so far, many voices have been raised to the heros of Drassa, begging their aid, and some even offering their support !
Does this mean that Dr Pain's days are numbered ? Does it mean, that come the heat of next summer, the drying sun and wind will allow the revenging army to sweep over Summerbridge, destroying the Dr and sweeping his evil away for ever ? Time will tell, and I for one, am eager to see, and hear, the results.
However, the polls are still open for all who wish to add their names to those begging the heros of Drassa for their help. Mail to Rocko , Kaspar , Prenola , Evor , Gabriel Synthon , and Merlinium  and pledge your support.
On another train of thought, it has occurred to me that the horizons of Olympia continue to expand. This roving reporter has travelled in many strange realms and met savages, trolls, faeries and many other travellers and still the landscape continues to show ever more realms and provinces to explore. Is there no end to this great and savage land ? Does the great god Skrenta really rule over a land so vast that even he is unaware of all it's lands and possessions ? Will the ships now exploring the oceans and seas find new continents to explore, or only small islands and the edge of the world ? And will those who sail too far return, or will they fall off the edge of the world or be eaten by sea monsters ?
Time, (and the Olympian Times), will tell !
Dr Pain, I am coming for you ! You may have killed my brother ! You may have slaughtered my parents and raped my sister !
But I shall have my revenge, and your blood shall run in the dust of Chardia !
Shipmakers in Drassa. I need a ship. A very big ship. A very very very big ship. A ship that can carry lots and lots and lots of cargo. The biggest ship you can make. (I know nothing about ships)
I can afford the Ship and guarantee speedy delivery of necessary funds. If the cargo space is not big enough, I may need 2 ships.
Best offer based on speed and costs gets my business.
-Tony Wayland  StarLight Courier: We may not have business but we can make business.
Oleg the Loudmouth's Interesting Player List ============================================
This is a list if people you might want to watch out for, because they've done, erm, "interesting" things in the past. Note that obituaries are no longer promptly reported, if at all -- so you'll have to watch & contribute to this list to see what's going on.
New stuff this turn: Dr. Pain and Seldon the Avatar sightings, plus Bastrestric issues a clarification of his status wrt Dr. Pain.
Dr. Pain  -- Killed at least 20 players. Known throughout the world as an efficient and wealthy but evil dude. Units owned: 1034 1301 1321 1368 1376 1461 1475 1575 1580 1585 1976 1993 2002 2040 2055.
Bastrestric ther Archymonaged  -- Killed 1 unit on turn 23 in Chardia, which Milinkthos claims was independent. Listed as a buddy by Dr. Pain. Dropped me a message in which he thanked me graciously for calling him a "buddy", and promised a generous contribution for flowers at my funeral. All I gots to say is: I'm proud that *I* have buddies; it's a shame that Bastrestric has to face the world all alone.
Seldon the Avatar  -- killed 1863 in Pesbrand on turn 20. Killed 1 player and 3 units in Ilion on turn 23. Units owned: 1400. 5,000 gold bounty offered by Tony Wayland  for "Seldon the Avatar and all his units."
Mohammed ibn Musa al-Khwarizmi  -- Attacked newbie player in Ilion on turn 21, but was unable to beat one man. Attacked 2 units in Camaris on turn 23. Wanted by John Smith. Units owned: 819 1464 1977.
John Smith  -- killed unit that killed player 830 and others in Chardia (i.e., apparently 830 was pro-Pain and the attacker was anti-Pain, then John Smith killed the attacker.); killed 4 other units in Camaris since, which he says were independent. Says he is the protector of Camaris. Units owned: 1317 1494 1935 1972?.
Maidez de la Montt  -- Attempted to kill 6 players turns 21-23, but all failed. Attacked 3 players in Pesbrand on turn 25 for booty. Units owned: 1991 1995 1998 2007 2012.
Spiney Norman  -- Apparently the owner of Fengal's Hoodlums , which killed a newbie on turn 23 in Kircarth. Fengal's Hoodlums was captured turn 24, and the combat reports lists 878 as the faction of Fengal's Hoodlums. Spiney claims that he was framed, and the owner gave him the unit at the start of turn 24. Truth or fiction? You be the judge.
Stryder  -- Attacked a player on turn 25, who successfully fled. Phillipe  -- Attacked the same player. These guys claim that they thought this player was independent and were out to guard his gold for him. Uhuh. The victim wasn't independent, he just doesn't answer his email as promptly as some.
A mass of newbies, including 879, 877, 881, 882, 876, and 883, attacked player 880 in Kircarth. They say that this player was inactive, so they captured him and took his gold.
Sightings last turn: ====================
Seldon the Avatar has been in Ilion for the past 2 turns.
Dr. Pain has combined his 2 stacks in Caburh, and has around 240 armored fighting men with an average skill of combat 1 or 2.
If you believe any information on this list is incorrect, please write me. If you would like to contribute information, especially combat reports and/or sighting reports, please write. Information is like a breath of fresh air: it makes everyone's day happier.
-- Oleg the Loudmouth
Oleg was in a foul mood.
"Wadda you mean, we should have called AAA for a Triptik before we set out? What do you think this is, CIVILIZATION? If this were CIVILIZATION, you wouldn't be dressed in burlap and covered in flies, now would you?"
But it didn't help. You just couldn't find good help these days. But hey, at least Drassa had some good bars. *BELCH*
Last week, our hero daunted off to places unknown. Little did he know that his associates prefered the companion ship of the lovelies of the Lonesome Oaf Tavern.
As Stryder arrived to this new town, he turns to begin a speech to the men and discovers - they are not here! What the ... "Those jerks, I will get them for this." he says to him self out loud. As our hero turns to assess the situation, he is instantly struck by a picture he could not have dreamed in his wildest nightmares.
All around him are 35 of the meanest, ugliest, foul smelling men, who are wearing Silk Hobarth for governor buttons (complete with and 800 number embossed). They are eyeing our hero with no little resentment. You see due to an "erroneous" article, recently published in the Olympia Times, authored by some incomptent jack ass, Oleg the toilet mouth, the Silk zealots, lacking the intelligence to discern truth from fiction, eye our hero with great contempt. Anyone who would dare be involved in such a haneous act (being stacked with someone who assaulted thier idol) is worthy of any torturous act that can come to mind.
The rabble begins to surround our hero, grunting and muttering verbs like hang, break, tear, beat and kill. Stryder knows that this is it. Due to being falsely accused of a crime he had no control over, and the unfortunate desertion of his men, he was about to die young. A promising career snuffed out due to a series of unfortunate events he could not control.
He draws his sword and raises his shield as the mob surges forward. No where to run, this is it. Swinging blindly at anyone who whold dare come within swords length, Stryder, knowing the futility of his actions, figures if he going to die, he may as well go in style. So he resists, with all of his strength, to the point of exhaustion. Stryder, energy spent, collapses, and loses consciousness.
Stryder felt the the firm grasp on his shoulder, jerking at him as he lay face down on the mud. How long had he been unconscious? Seconds? Hours? Startled, he flips over, preparing to parry whatever blow awaited him. And as he turned, he froze, shocked.
Staring down at him was a face he thought for sure he would never see again. "Phillipe!" he exclaimed. Stryder was helped to his feet by his elder brother. Brushing himself off, he began to recount what had happened, when he spotted a few familiar faces in the crowd. Phillipe explained to his kid brother that he did not see anyone around. "The town folk did mention a mob incident a coupld of days ago, but they say it was non violent. You must have halucinated" he tells him.
As Stryder gets the ribbing form his older borther, something had always hated, but was now a welcome pleasure, he begins to notice familiar faces. Spotting the look on Stryder's face, Phillipe anticipates the question on his ragged younger brother's face. "I thought you might need these." he says. There were drunker than a skunk and about as useless as chicken shit on a pump handle when I found them in the Lonesome Oaf. Wanda and the girls were not looking much better either."
Stryder's first thought was to personally castrate each and everyone of them, and a long and lengthy lecture on loyalty soon began.
Next week, tips on how to remove boots from anal orifices while minimizing the damage caused by extraction.
-- 5497 commands queue for 747 units