+----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | The Olympia Times email@example.com | | May 10, 1992 v3n8 | | | | Turn 23 119 Players "Hi mom!" | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+
Turn 24 orders due: Friday, May 15, 1992 Turn 25 orders due: Friday, May 22, 1992
Orders are due 6:00pm EDT, 22:00 GMT.
Questions, comments, bug reports, to play: firstname.lastname@example.org
The turn deadline is Friday evening. I try to get the turns out before Monday morning. Don't panic if you don't have your turn on Sunday afternoon. If it's Monday and I still haven't run the turn, then it's okay to panic.
What do I do during this time? Sit around drinking beer, saying "Gee, I guess I should really run the Olympia turn..." No! (Well, not usually, anyway :-). I'm doing test runs of the turn, making sure that all of the new features work, fixing bugs, and throwing in last-minute additions.
ASSIST requires that the helping units have at least level 1 in the area that they are assisting. For example, workers assisting a shipbuilder must have at least level 1 shipbuilding.
Entertainment skill has been tuned somewhat. Demand for entertainers is greatest in regions which haven't seen any good performances in a while. Many entertainers working the same region month after month will competing for a diminishing audience.
Guild elections next turn! SET 0 PROXY
ENEMIES OF THE FORCES OF LAW (v. 3)
Beware these clowns. A threat to civilization they are. Watch thy backs. The peaceful people of this world must unite if we are to survive.
Number of Last place Name innocents slaughtered of massacre ============================================================================== The Black Company  15 Chardia  (aka. Castle Guard) John Smith  3 Camaris  Dr. Pain  1 Chardia  Zyzak  at least 11 Hothras 
A WORD OF CAUTION: There are others among thee who have also killed. These are but known criminals.
A WORD TO THE UNDERWORLD: Is this all that thou canst do? Surely more among thee can do better, and make thyselves known on this glorious list. Tell us, Zyzak, the number thou hast really killed. Ye mayst have already surpassed The Black Company...
The Riddlecorner! =================
The answer to last weeks riddle:
I can hit you in the eye, Yet twinkle in the sky, Expanding when I die, What do you think am I?
is: a Star!
Now this weeks riddle is:
Two legs sat upon three legs with one leg in his lap. In comes four legs, grabs one leg, and runs off with him. Up jumps two legs, grabs up three legs, throws it after four legs, and makes him bring back one leg.
What are all the legs about? (This one's not too hard)
The answer in the next edition of the glorious, free ditributed OLYMPIA TIMES!
This week, I saw a couple of interesting riddles and I guess it was more or less my duty to answer them.
The answer that was blowing in the wind is, to my opinion the answer our arch- mage is seeking to all his questions about the arcane arts of magic. It's a petty he hasn't got the 'catch-an-answer-in-the-wind'-spell yet.
Secondly there was this fiddler, worrying about his gold, but he sure got 25 golden heads and tails for his submission.
CHEEP LABOR CHEEP LABOR CHEEP LABOR CHEEP LABOR CHEEP LABOR CHEEP LABOR CHEEP
Do you need to get that ship done soon, but have no one to help you?
How about that extra bathroom that your mate has been bugging you to get?
Does your castle need more manual laborers?
Do you need a personal guard so much that you will train them?
HIRE US! WE HAVE NO SKILLS WHATSOEVER BUT THAT HAS NEVER STOPPED US!
Labor Force  Tell us where to go and we will be there ready for work.
PS: We carry no money.
Gertan once again opens the times to the riddle section. "Hmm," he says, "I know the answers to these. The first is 'a star', the second is 'The answer my friend', and the final one is 'a gold coin'. Well, off to explore!"
Roving Reporter's Column ========================
Death breeds again ! ====================
Once again, the obituraries are full of the tale of callous slaughter. Although it is possible that only a couple of them were civilized persons, it is still a deplorable state of affairs when our daily life is overrun with such calamities !
Zyzak, trying for the title of the greatest murderer in Olympia, captured several people and immediately slaughtered them, for fun and profit ! Wandering Willy and the Drassan Mining Expedition are still unknown quantities but they should be treated carefully until their true natures are revealed. Admittedly, the death of a savage is less worrying, but who was Inos ? A civilized person, or some crazed creature of the wilds ?
Also, as Zyzak has recently arrived in Drassa with 271 armed and fanatical followers, it is expected that this month the streets will run red with the blood of the innocent ! Is nowhere safe from this cold-blooded butcher ? Can no-one stop his depraved attacks ? Indeed, it may well be that Zyzak will be in a position to depopulate the entire region with his current army. There is certainly no individual in Drassa capable of summoning a comparable army.
Those who live in this fair city must indeed be praying that their sherriff arrive in time to rescue them from this callous slaughter of which Zyzak is so fond !
It has also come to my recent attention that several new arrivals have reached our shore. Welcome to the new travellers in Olympia !!
TOP TEN REASONS WHY WE JOINED THE ANTI-PAIN ALLIANCE
10) He's practicing medicine without a license. 9) Pain and Despair sound more like a WWWF tag-team than fantasy pbem characters. 8) With Dr. Pain out of the way, it'll be easier for US to persuade the Black Company and terrorize innocent newbies. 7) Donald Trump had some towers and a castle too, and look what happened to him. 6) Anyone who can't come up with a more imaginative name for their character than "John Smith" deserves to be pole-axed. 5) Takes care of the complaint of there not being enough quests in Olympia. 4) We heard Chardia has the best babes in Olympia and Pain won't share. 3) The prose in "The Chronicles of Pain" is purpler than anything Bulwer-Lytton ever wrote. 2) More fun than a party pinata! Just poke him and watch the gold pour out!
And the number one reason why we joined the anti-Pain alliance....
1) With all the color-based companies of men he's been forming, it's only a matter of time before he degenerates to the Teal, Fuschia, and Ochre Companies.
-The Brothers Hecatoncheires
Greetings to the butchers, fighters and killers of Olympia !
Do you want to know who is the biggest, toughest, meanest murderer in the whole world ? Why not find out !
JOIN THE ARENA TODAY !!
The arena is a new challenge for all comers ! Send in your best and toughest fighter. WINNER TAKE ALL !!!
Rules ===== 1) Each entrant must be an individual, but may be a player character or faction. 2) Each entrant pays 50 gold to Kaspar  who will manage and control the competition. The winner of the competition wins ALL the entry money. (10 entrants = 500 gold, 20 entrants = 1000 gold !!) 3) Any skills are allowed, at any level. Any weapons and/or armour is allowed. 4) Set your entrant to flee at any level you like. 5) All who pay their entry fee in advance will be rostered to fight other entrants, with elimination rounds occurring each month until the GREATEST fighter in Olympia is found. 6) A fighter is considered eliminated when he is either killed or flees from the combat. 7) Anyone cheating will be immediately killed/captured by Kaspar and allies in Drassa. 8) The competition will be held in Drassa, and entries may start immediately. The first eliminations will start (if enough entrants show up) in Fall, month 6 (Harvest). That allows 6 more months for entrants to prepare, train and arrive in Drassa !
If there is enough support, this will become a regular feature, with up to 128 entrants competing each year (maximum for knock-out eliminations in 8 months).
The mage looked up from his tome to find the leutenant of his troop standing in his room, waiting to be recognized. What a bother, so much arcane lore to learn and so little time and my men apparently can't seem to visit the outhouse without a signed ok from me. I hate bureaucracies! Having caught his patron's attention the leutenant speaks, "My lord, the men are training well; however, they need to be better equipped. I have made this request of you several times in the past at which times you've assured me that the men will be provided for; however, I am here yet again with the same request." "Alright, I'll handle it. You know this should all be handled through proper channels. You should issue your request to the proper department, and they will notify the accounting office which will then issue a po... [Oops wrong time and wrong game] Err, well, don't worry yourself further, I need a bit of exercise out by the training yard to brush up on my tactics. We'll meet this afternoon, tour the market, and purchase your supplies. What more could you want?" the mage replied. The leutenant looked at his lord with askance and much wearied patience in his expression. "Of course, my lord. I will await your arrival. Thank you for your time." As the leutenant leaves he sees the mage delve back into his book and mutters, "I'll be lucky if he remembers by next week." He heads off back to the training grounds pondering whether he should "hire" one of the pretty serving wenches to invite the Lord Erekosse on a picnic; at least, that would be one way to get the lecherous coot out to the grounds.
The Log of Brillan Damar
A small, foggy place this is. I had hoped that all the fog would disappear once I had reached land but, alas, this was not to be. Kircarth is a dirty place. Mayhap it is good that I can't see it to well.
Many people came off the boat with me; most wide eyed, but a few that carried an arrogant stance about them. I must be cautious of them in the future. Many of them were boasting of being stronger than a possibly mythical fellow known only as Dr. Pain. For their sakes, I hope that he is indeed mythical.
I hired some guides to search out the countryside. We will need a good starting point to establish our school, where many people pass by. It's obvious by looking at this place that Kircarth would not be a good choice. A dark tower stands boldy above us all, and the residents do not seem to want to talk of it much. Mayhap I'll take a visit there, once I buy adequate protection in case there's any trouble.
A well armed and large group of troops entered the small town of Drassa and the small citizens panicked! Instantly the streets were deserted of people. The only people on the streets were lackeys in the employ of the various power factions of Drassa. Zyzak the Slaughterer has entered the lands of Drassa.
These weary battle-hardened troops entered the port city with a solemn silence. That they even dared enter the city showed a peculiar kind of arrogance and gall that spoke against Zyzak's sanity. Killing worthless newbies is one thing, but to the heart of Drassa!
The powers of Drassa's face hardened and unified. Zyzak will not win in this city. Their faces hardened. Their mouthes were grim as they began to prepare to repel this invasion by the outlaw bandits.
The Starlight Courier agency manager looked around in surprise. He shouted a few expletives and looked around. Damn. This will be bad for business, he noted. Zyzak prolly wants his latest shipment. Unfortunately, the only combat group he had on hand in Drassa were a bunch of archers and archers haven't been coded in yet. But when they are, they'll be pretty powerful defensive unit to be reconned with!
StarLight Courier - Just wait till Rich gets archery working!
Oleg the Loudmouth's Interesting Player List ============================================
This is a list if people you might want to watch out for, because they've done, erm, "interesting" things in the past.
Dr. Pain  -- Killed 12 new players in Chardia on turn 17, captured 2 units in Habyn on turn 21. Captured 4 players and 10 units on turn 21. Units owned or captured: 1301 1371 1321 1359 1308 1376 1375 1465 1346 1875 1368 1312 1332 1353 1360 1365 1356 1363.
Seldon the Avatar  -- killed 1863 in Pesbrand on turn 20. Units owned: 1400.
Mohammed ibn Musa al-Khwarizmi  -- Attacked newbie player in Ilion on turn 21, but fortunately was unable to beat one man. Units owned: 819 834
John Smith  -- Present in Chardia during Dr. Pain massacre but was not attacked; listed as ally by Dr. Pain; killed unit that killed player 830 and others in Chardia; killed 2 other units in Camaris on turn 20. Units owned: 1317 1494? 1935 1972?
Sadness  -- Listed as ally by Dr. Pain; killed once in Chardia while studying at guild towers, so must have had Dr. Pain's permission. Units owned: 1880
Maidez de la Montt  -- formed unit Men in Black  that attacked Longshot in Pesbrand turn 21. On turn 22, Men in Black formed Captain Marhalt , who then formed , , and , and tried to kill 4 players but failed every time. Men in Black was captured but the other units escaped. Units owned: 1991 1998 2007 2012
Sightings last turn: ====================
Maidez de la Montt  moved to Ilion on turn 21. 1991, 1998, 2007, and 2012 left for Ilion from Pesbrand on day 23 of turn 22.
Dr. Pain ended the turn in West Habyn with a bunch of prisoners and 2 combat units totalling 30 men.
If you believe any information on this list is incorrect, please write me. If you would like to contribute information, especially combat reports and/or sighting reports, please write. Information is like a breath of fresh air: it makes everyone's day happier.
THE WHITE CASTLE NEWS "Newspaper fit to wrap a greasy hamburger in" Issue 1
OLEG THE LODUMOUTH HOLDS PRESS CONFERENCE
(Afloat somewhere in the Ocean) -- Speaking at an informal news conference, Oleg the Loudmouth, not one of the Dark Prophet's leading generals, but still one of the Dark Profit's favorite d00ds, said that sanity had not yet returned to Dr. Pain's skull.
Oleg refered in particular to the charge that Oleg had committed a vile murder to obtain his ship. "Throwing stones, is he? Lives in a crystal chandelier, sips Perrier from the skulls of murdered newbies, and he condemns me for carrying on the great tradition of the beloved Sherrif Of Drassa by re-killing entity 503? Why, he was already dead! What do you think a GHOST is anyway? Sword cuts everywhere! Practically fell to pieces when I looked at him cross-eyed!"
Continuing with his tirade, Oleg stated that "Dr. Pain's claim that I was using the Dark Nation as a bogeyman to scare newly-arrived immigrants is true. That's because he's killing them left and right! Fortunately, even a brain as small as LamePain's can comprehend this sort of thing, although the concept of proper public relations seems to escape him. Unfortunately, he's so lame that he won't even let me collect on my own bounty (I could use the cash), and he also point-blank refused to up my bounty to 10,000 gold! I mean, why should I be a dissident if there's no money in it? This kind of crap is going to cost him his Empire, just you wait! I gotta eat, you know! I haven't had any food for 2 months. Do you have anything to eat? Even a crust of bread... please?"
At this point a few men in white suits appeared to calm Oleg down, and the news conference was ended.
Ya Yawm! Upon perusing the Times, we find ourselves vilified! Upon examination, we discover that the slander is directed at tactical maneuver made by ourselves on one who was no more new to this strange world than we. Imagine, if you will, an entity who walks the dangerous regions of this continent alone and unprotected. Is this not why the great God Skrentah did implement combat? Consider the fact that we did defeat this hapless soul with our bare hands (which are no longer bare). Should a sense of pity restrain our hands from plucking the fruit from the tree? If we knew of a way to fornicate we would claim to be performing a public service by removing this beast from the gene pool. This defense, however, is unnecessary. Consider the dreaded Hakim who is famous for wandering these regions and divesting others of their cash. Would you rather that the gold that this poor weakling previously held remain where it can (and will) be so easily added to the war chests of this gentleman? Or would you rather have it relocated in more competent hands? Ah, we see that you are not convinced. We see no choice but to relinquish our ways and take up a career of knitting. We will petition the g. G. Skrentah to remove the ability to scuffle from our sinful hands and hearts.
Most enthusiastically, &tc, Mohammed ibn Musa al-Khwarizmi Commander of the Faithful
Here's another riddle for you:
Fat Man at Dead Man's Journey
So, the Captain had failed. Well, she thought, you just can't get good help these days. Signalling to her archers, the small company headed back towards the busy city....
A black and white banner -- Per pale Argent and Sable an Owl displayed countercharged. It blew gently in the mild breeze blowing across the plains outside of Pesbrand visible for a moment in the dense fog covering the province. "When will this fog clear?" Varian asked as he looked at his captives. The Men in Black he had recently captured struggled in their bindings. They would not be escaping. "Should I pay them to switch allegences?" Varian asked himself. He rubbed his chin, thinking about it. "I hope the fog lifts soon," one of his passing soldiers commented. "I didn't much enjoy burying the poor lads that died. And it was a shame it was all a mistake." "Mistakes can happen in the fog," Varian replied. "I have been talking with Renaldo to make sure a mistake such as this will not happen again. Armies moving about in the fog..." Varian let his sentence trail off. A bird cawwed in the distance. "The lads from Caburh took it really badly. They took the brunt of it," the soldier continued. "They are talking of roughing up the lasses we captured but I think I've calmed 'em down." "Good. When our 'visitors' have cooled down a little, we will release them and their equipment." Varian turned and faced the soldier. "It was a mistake. They thought they were attacking the Men in Black. Had they been here first, we would have attacked them. Bloody fog!" "If it hadn't been for their bows...," the soldier said. He thought of the four men in their group who had fallen. "Yes, the bows. They fought bravely. I wish we could bring them to Ilion but they are in no shape for that now." Another caw echoed in the distance. Nearby, buried in the fog, the Players played a dirge for their slain companion and the others. Silence fell over the camp until they were done. Varian clenched his fist. "Pain..." He hissed the word. Another caw came from above. A crow appeared in a break in the mist grasping something in its claws. It paused for a moment over Varian and then... a rolled piece of paper dropped from its grasp at Varian's feet. Varian picked it up, removed the black ribbon tying it shut, and opened it. He read for a moment and then looked up at the bird, disappearing in the mist. "Pain...," he repeated. "What is it, sir?" the soldier asked. "A message from Dr. Pain, congratulating me on my victory." "Congratulations? The Men in Black were under him, weren't they?" "I am certain of that now. If we don't release them, he is 'honor-bound' to 'destroy' us to retrieve them." The strange friendly yet threatening words in Pain's letter echoed in his mind. "So, we're leaving, right?" the soldier shifted uneasily. "No, first we hunt down one Captain Marhalt. Then we hunt down his commander, Maidez de la Montt. I have word that he was seen in Ilion not a month ago and Marhalt fled there with his cultist followers." "Sir, isn't this asking for trouble?" "So he comes after us. We retreat to Pesbrand and save Renaldo a trip to Chardia." "I hope you know what you're doing, sir." "I do. If you would rather join the Dark Nation, Pain has offered me entrance if I will pledge a unit of 5 men over to him and release the Men in Black." Varian thumped his finger against the letter. Think you could round up someone to replace the man you lost?" "Uh...but..." "Good, I didn't think so. Get the men ready. We leave for Ilion first thing."
13... a mysterious number, but this is the number none-the-less that have appeared. Will it hold, will it split. Is it divisible?
With His mastery of the art complete it was time to start putting that weighty body of knowledge to work. Decisions decisions. Well, with the arrival of Zyzak in Drassa it appeared that things were hotting up in the northen continent as well.
Sending His mind back into the past He recalled the first act of magic in the world, when the Great Osswid summoned forth a hoard of dragon warriors:
7: Dragon Warriors  spring from the ground and stack with Tower 7: of Darkness .
Yes, that was the next step. First Dragon warriors, the the Dragon itself...
There was a cruel man in Habyn Who delved in evil and sin One day in a stack He'll find a knive in his back And his killer will be known to him
Death to Pain
Briareos wiped the sweat off his brow with a damp cloth. He had won this training battle handily. Indeed, while honing his technique while cloistered in the tower, his skills had improved by leaps and bounds. The missive from the south was disturbing, he hated to lose any of his men, but to lose them so wastefully...Well, soon the marshes would allow passage again and he would be able to lead the troops himself.
Guges, the wandering minstrel, contrary to last week's Times, is not sailing off to parts unknown. He overslept and missed the departure of the Wrath of Zeus. In the meantime, he'll continue edifying the populaces of whatever town he passes through.
Who are these Brothers Hecatoncheires anyway? Any relation to the Brothers Smith? The Brothers Wright? The Brothers Marx? The Brothers Ritz? How about the Brothers Smothers? Inquiring minds want to know!
The Merry Pranksters
Using his last ounce of strength, Number Six clambered to the top of the hillock, hoping he had eluded the savages who had persistantly dogged him through the woods. First the troll on the road and now this! He stood up to survey the land from his lofty vantage point...and immediately threw himself back into the underbrush as an immense shadow passed overhead. It was the dreaded Bird of Death!
"Maybe I was better off back in the Village," thought Number Six ruefully.
* * * The Dragaeran Trading Company Announces * * *
The Olympia turn checker!
It's new! It's improved! It's long-lasting!
This marvel of the mideval age reads in turn commands, checks syntax, and prints out an english version of the commands for easy checking. No longer will you buy 5 of 6 instead of 6 of 5. It also does reasonability checks (ie. you can't buy Osswid, and you can't terrorize a rug).
Next, Vax, Sparc, Decstation and Sun3 binaries are available from shrimp.cs.washington.edu in pub/olympia. Don't be the last one in your Cabal to own one!
Improvements: * Numerous bug fixes * Added knowledge of most Olympia entities, so you never need read entity numbers again.
Comments/questions/bug reports to email@example.com, or .
A gold coin has a gold head, a gold tail but no body.
I'm so glad to be able to write you again! When the messenger crystal you gave me faded, I thought I'd never get to tell you all the exciting things that have happened. Please extend all the courtesy of the court to my messenger; he has traveled for many months to reach you. He is an excellent sailor and servant, and he reminds me quite a bit of Reginald. Those performers were an excellent investment, I don't care what Daddy thinks of them! The people here in Drassa are so simple, they laugh at the crudest Soralen jests. And they are quite free with their money, as well. I've been keeping myself busy here, setting up a trading consortium. You can tell Daddy about that part, I'm sure he'll be happy to hear of more markets for the wine. I hope I can come home soon, I'd love to taste the first vintages. Don't be too surprised if I just pop in. You remember that ruffian I told you about, Rocko? Well, he apparently has retired after he killed the wolves. Anyway, the fellow made quite an impression on my retainers. They have set themselves up as protectors of this squalid city. I must tell you, the place is becoming so crowded now I hardly ever leave my tower. I hope this missive finds you and Daddy well, and give my regards to Elaine and Donald.
Your Loving Son,
-- 3729 commands for 537 units