+----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | The Olympia Times issue g2-114 | | April 20, 1999 | | | | turn 114 321 players http://www.pbm.com/ | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+
Questions, comments, to play: email@example.com
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Greetings fellow Olympians. TIB Alliance is pleased to announce the formalization of one of our strongest and most cherished friendships. TIB and House of Lords have recently agreed to mutual defense pact. TIB and HoL will now do all within out power to defend one another and to keep NW Provinia safe and free.
May the Hand keep and protect you, Eric the Seehawk TIB Alliance
-- Lords of Hammerhill [gz2]
Greetings Olympians and a special hello to all Drassans.
============================================================= The House of Lords is pleased to announce, after several years of good relations, a mutual defense treaty with the TIB alliance. Any attack on TIB holdings or nobles will be considered by us as an attack on the House of Lords and will be dealt with as such. =============================================================
If you are in the northwestern region of Olympia, please take a moment to look at our web household at: http://www.ip.pt/~ip231870/HoL.htm
It includes a map of the Kingdom of Cragstan and the surrounding area as well as important information for anyone wishing to visit our territories in Cragstan and western Cipheria.
Live long and prosper, Lord Ralek Arkham Speaker for the House of Lords Kingdom of Cragstan
-- House of Lords [tq9]
Due to the removal of the naval threat in Harn port the Brotherhood of the Red God have removed the barrier outside Harn. All are able to use the safe haven port again. We continue to deplore the Lords of the Crown using it as a base (Have a look at the effectively invulnerable garrison outside the city) but since they are intractable in their views, we are forced by these circumstances to adopt a similar strategy.
The 1st Harpy Squadron has captured two of the Lord's Dukes recently (although one died of his wounds and the other seems to have been stripped of his titles in absentia) and we will be using Harn as a prison for captured nobles till their ransom can be negotiated.
In the meantime all and sundry are welcome to come and view the prisoners although please don't feed them peanuts as they seem fat and sluggish enough as it is.
We hope to have more prisoners to parade for you in the near future.
-- The Red Archers [yb6]
Just a reminder that the Brotherhood of the Red God is harrassing the Lord's shipping and naval troop movements in the Camaris Straits. All neutral ships in the waters between Camaris and Provinia east of the 50 longtitude line running through Harn should contact us so you are not caught up in this conflict. Any ships in these waters that have not contacted us will be considered hostile till we have determined otherwise.
We currently have Brothers in the Drassa region with little to do. We are currently looking for contracts of any sort (training, recruiting, raiding, patrol duty, etc) in this area or any of the nearby islands. We have ship transport and don;t mind travelling.
Please visit our web site at http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/1843/borg.html or contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org
May the Red God smile upon you. The Herald of the Brotherhood of the Red God
-- Wodan [d987]
Zen Master Xiao asks his young student a riddle:
"How is it, wise flower, that mighty Oleg leaves a burning village upon a white horse, and returns upon a brown steed?"
Oleg sat upon his throne -A porcelain single-seater-- As his royal trumpet blew aloud, That "Oleg is a cheater!"
He felt a rush of simple shame, A frothy emotion-filled slush; But since he had so little honor, He ignored it with a flush!
The Ref stood at center ring, Cradled in his hands, the Mic, a holy child of steel and wire, electric, bouncing, godly tyke.
And with his head uplifted, His voice a puzzled jumble, Spilled a warrior's thunder: "Let's Get Ready to Ruummmmbbbbleeee!"
In the corner east a wrestler pranced, a Jiggling mound roundly booed, who had seen the best of times, In love, war, and lordly food
His belly, I'm afraid, was a ball of flesh, A dragon's egg, a pregnant wife's unborn tot, His face with cherry lips and bulging cheeks, A puggish nose with running snot.
Codric's corner man stood before him, Leaning in as if to confide, Holding up a roundish mirror, So this plumpish lord could see from side to side.
[Sing] Rolling lands of the Crown, Of pale and grassy hill. This realm is tagged upon this king, Who eats beyond his fill.
In the corner west a beastly dwarf; Back and forth, we watch it prowl, Garbed in stench and wild skins, A gruesome sight labelled foul.
He looked the mythic cyclops, One eye bigger than its foe. With the other floating lazily, Albeit a smidgen slow.
Oleg Is Not A Cheater
Come now folks, it's not fair to call Oleg a cheater for using bugs, unless you are one of the few, and it is a very few, who have not abused bugs. Of course, that doesn't mean it's right to abuse bugs, and given the way Oleg and his allies whined about other's abuse of bugs, you can say fairly that Oleg's a hypocrite, but let's not call him a cheater. So long as he reports his bugs to the moderator before he intentionally exploits them, he's not breaking any rules.
Now they start copying the sparrow... what will this lead to...
Times Poetry Contest!
Date: Thunder and rain, month 5, in the year 15 (Times 118)
1st place: 1,000 gold 2nd place: 1 Winged Horse 3rd place: 100 drums
Special Jury Prize for Best Thematic Entry!
Theme: Requiem for a Hero: The Sad End of Sir Codric
Previously Published Material Welcome!
Unsigned (rumor) entries eligible for judging, but prizes will not be awarded!
Sharpen your pens, iron your parchment, and send those poems in!
(If you don't get the above rumor, you need to go back to school and take more math.)
So there I was, stuck on the runway at LAX because of fog of all things. We were never gonna get off the ground, so my biz in Miami was going to have to wait another day. Luckily, I remembered that some of the PLATO leadership lived in lotus land, so I called old Ming on the airfone to see wassup. Turns out some of the boys were meeting for a council of war at a thrash-metal club in Santa Monica, so once deplaned I grabbed a Super Shuttle and motored up the San Diego asap.
The Big Dog was scarfing chili fries and planning how to conquer the world using only a gatemaster and 10 pikemen when I got there. Ming was on his second pitcher of Sierra Nevada, doing his Shane MacGowan impression while destroying some tourist at darts. Arnold, club in hand as usual, was practicing his putting with the drummer from Fastball.
We actually talked about Olympia for about 10 minutes until these four telephone actresses came in, dressed to kill and ready to rock our world. This is a family publication so I won't go into any detail, but let's just say you can get arrested in Belgium for a lot less.
To my hosts, I thank you. Ming, with the Titanium Visa--you were right, the ho didn't take American Express. To the Dog, take two Maalox and call me in the morning. To Arnold, congrats on the hole in one. To Misty, I'm sorry you never made it as a figure skater, but your horizontal triple lutz gets a 6.0 from this judge.
Next time I'm in LA I'll be sure to drop in on PLATO again. Here's the 411 I picked up-- you can plan all you want, but natural talent is natural talent. Don't put your dead presidents on the Lords in this war--if PLATO can fight one tenth as hard as they party Codric and his little boyfriends don't stand a chance.
Question: How many LotC nobles does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: 8 to berate the light bulb for going out in the first place. 3 to go whine to Lord Cendage that the "mean nasty light bulb went out." 10 to use 641 to see how other alliances change their light bulbs. 1 to cast shroud location from scry to avoid exposing their ineptitude. 4 to aura blast non-LotC nobles that may have witnessed the light bulb going out. 6 to explore new trade routes that might offer light bulbs. 7 to hijack innocent nobles in hopes they might have a light bulb. 2 to try to breed the old light bulb with various beast in hopes of creating the "super duper" light bulb. 3 to research the light bulbs in towers (they are actually just knocking back a few mugs of donkey pee). 4 to subdue the angry peasant mob that heard their beacon of light had gone out. 18 to blame Plato/Musketeers that it was a bug they had not been told about. 1 non-LotC noble passing by, screws in another light bulb that had been sitting on a shelf in the utility closet, just to shut them up.
Hmmm, the time flies. Soon, you'll all be begging me for a taste... You know that the only reason that you tried to get rid of me was to steal my peat.
I am getting sick of this tower. Not only did they not build any windows in the darn thing, it's haunted. Just look at all those ghost warriors wandering around.
The time is now.
It is I, the High King Brian. Fear me now. It is time for all mortals in the world to learn of my power. Be warned. Within 10 more turns the whole of Olympia will see a new super power being born.
Lords will fear us. Plato will ponder from where we come from. Dragons will gulp with our bright flame. Musketeers will forget their oath. Bandits will stop their theiving. TIBS will shiver with our icy touch. Maddogs will froth no more and Borg will be assimilated.
Most of you will not believe what I say is true. So be it. There is naught I can say now that will convince you otherwise. But trust me I have the knowledge that only a privaliged few have access to.
And in this game, as in life, Knowledge is power. I have brethern in almost every power on Olympia. Together we have gathered our intel and now we are preparing to take control of the most powerfull castles on Olympia. Together we will destroy approximatly 27 castles in one turn. Hence liberating almost 2150 provences from the rule of their supposed leaders. This also includes some of the "interesting projects" in Faery. We will seize almost 900,000 gold and 7500 troops. Our noble count exceeds 200 nobles, several of them necros and teleporters. We have the ability to teleport 300 troops every turn anywhere on olympia and the ability to blast 4 nobles every turn.
Our power has been built in secret. Our aim is to liberate the world from the grasp of the traitors and empty men with voices of doom. This confusion will allow all new players room to build without having to kneel before a false king. Wars will rage across the world and mighty powers will fall. From this world of choas a new order will rise.
We will be known as "The Liberation Front".
High King Brian Boru.
Pig Foul will make a nice roast !!
Children, spread out and seek the child that is lost to me, that child that came to me not of it's own free will bring him back to me, he who will rule Hades, he who will rule hades after Feary is no more.
Children, hide in the shadows of evil, destroy what is good build this empire with me and retrieve my throne from those who think themselves gods
- Demonlord -
"Vyassa offered us his assistance and the garrisson outside the town attacked us, two of our nobles were slain." Anyone else remember seeing this kind of notice before? I've been reading old postings. And I see that for quite some time Vyassa has been a cowardly blowhard killer. He/she/it thrives on newbies. Turns on allies and will apparently make/break any deal that has benifits. Some things never change, beware the lies and double deals on provinia. Vyassa visits the lords, shelters the borg and slays the invited guests. He is a cowardly pig licker and should die.
SOSASOT-singer of songs and speaker of truth
10 ... 9 ... 8 ... 7 ...
Is this when Oleg is going to use another bug ?
!!! I'm Alive !!!
Must be the reason why I'm king of my castle, must be the reason why I'm free in my threshold. Must's the reason why I'm king of my castle, must be a reason why I'm making examples, of you ...