+----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | The Olympia Times issue g1-84 | | January 31, 1996 | | | | turn 84 135 players http://www.pbm.com/oly/times/ | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+
Questions, comments, to play: email@example.com
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Some anonymous clown stated in last turns' Times: "We need a WAR!!! It is getting boring!!!"
Okay, so tell us who and where you are. We'll bring you PLENTY of excitement and fun!!! ;-D
-- Novgorod [ch2]
I stare at my map and wonder what wise words I should say I think of the game and ponder who else will join to play A tower I'll build off yonder The wisdom of stacks I'll heed I'll study off and onder and learn those beasts to breed But I have to speak in candor and ask the face in the lake When will I understand or how long will it take?
-- The day of Rest [ju3]
---------------------- S. CAMARIS Update ----------------------
Monthly notice: any new visitors to our fair isle should notify us in advance.
-- The Crazy Quilters [vn7]
New Email for Faction [wk7] :
Please... Make a note of it!
-- The Indomitable Gauls [wk7]
The Bank has a request for the Nobles of Olympia. For the sum of 1,000 gold, the Bank has been authorised to obtain a Scroll or Book of Scrying. If any Noble has such an item to sell please send a message to firstname.lastname@example.org
-- First Bank of Provinia [y6v]
Now let's keep things tasteful here shall we? Some of the stuff targeted to the Clan with No Name in the last few Times was unnecessarily crude.
-- General Norc [z1a]
Customer Testamonial on behalf of the First Bank of Provinia
Greetings, Provinians! My name's Jech Ercheflo the Friendly Thin Guy. I'm a Trader. I travel Provinia buying and selling and trading everything from the highest grade avinia leaf to the cheap woven baskets that I buy off of broke lowlifes in Imperial City. Now as you might imagine, with half-breeds like Swishbuckler bending everyone in sight, Provinia is not always as friendly and peaceful as me. So I don't like carrying large amounts of cash on a trade run, if you know what I mean. That's why I bank at First Provinia: low-interest loans, high interest rates, newbie bonuses, warehouse facilities, shipping services... What else could you ask for?
So take it from me, Jech Ercheflo the Friendly Thin Guy, don't wind up lying in the gutters of Imperial City weaving baskets. Give the the First Bank of Provinia a call. You'll be glad you did.
-- Jech Ercheflo the Friendly Thin Guy [h3f]
___ ___ ___ / / ) / ) /___ /___/ /___/ / . _ _ /_ / )_ __ / / _ _ . __ . _ / / / _> / /___/(_>/ //< of / / (_)|// / // (_>
The First Bank of Provinia has offices in some of the major cities on the continent of Provinia. The FBoP offers the following facilities.
o Special offers for New Olympia Players. o Excellent Interest Rates on Bank Accounts. o A Fast and Efficient Courier Service. o Money Transfers. o Short and Long Term Loans. o Insurance Policies. o Pawn Broking Service.
Call in at your local branch for further details.
-- First Bank of Provinia [v0z]
>If you submit 60 days worth of orders for your characters. Will they >execute the second 30 days worth of orders if you do not submit a turn?
I'm not the Answer Guy, but the answer is yes.
And remember folks, Liberty Confederacy is definitely not an anagram of 'Whining Pussies'. You have been told!
He was betrayed by the clinking sound of yet another measly 25 gold from heaven.
From the war diaries of Keldar, Commander, 1st Air Corps.
The Rimmon Campaign -------------------
As we had all been hoping, the orders called for a strike against Rimmon. MAFOC had made a lot of noise over the years; it was time to see what they were really made of. We gathered the birds and flew to our assigned target.
We crossed over the border the hour before dawn. Straining to the utmost we arrived at our target on schedule. But there was no one to meet us; our ground support had failed to arrive. Even our intelligence arm had failed: we had no current reports on the castle. 1st Air Corps is a formidable force, but no match for a large and well prepared castle garrison. I was not about to risk the corps on a blind attack, so we were forced to withdraw. Taag would catch hell for this blunder.
We consolidated outside the nearby port city, contenting ourselves with butchering the helpless Waylanders faction. I felt somewhat bad about that since it seemed their only crime was picking the wrong friends. But our orders were clear: Rimmon is considered a war zone, and all non-friendly units are to be eliminated. I still remember the briefing where Zek broke the tension by asking "Sir, just one question: what exactly is 'a friendly unit' ? I've never seen one."
Recon reported several instances of opposing nobles falling on their own swords. This is just what I had feared. By blowing our invasion, we gave them warning of our attack. By killing themselves they can assure the honorable passing of their blood lines to their sons, while had they lost in battle there was a good chance we could have incorporated their families into our own empire. Even if we should win the coming fight, a major strategic goal has been lost.
Daimen Taag finally arrived with the bulk of our forces. I was present at his hearing where he was busted in rank and stripped of command. Rumor has it that The Grand Nagus is going to take charge personally.
News from the east has been more encouraging: Chaos Wizard Central was taken, although losses were high due to the unexpected arrival of large enemy reinforcements.
I happened to run across one of our Gentle Persuaders coming out of a Persuasion Chamber, holding his sides and trying desperately hard not to laugh. He told me that his latest Patient seemed to feel our forces represented the combined strength of the AOO! We both had a good laugh at that. He had tried to explain that we are but a single faction (and certainly not the most powerful one), acting independently. But the arguments fell on (now permanently) deaf ears.
Anyone ever wonder what the 100(or more) players you never see, or hear about, are up to?
Arrr! It's time to fix dis 'ere boat I tink!
Someone Asked: > So I kill the rats, right, and they have better than 10 gold each, > and I'm wondering, where were they keeping this gold, and do I really > want to know about it?
No, you don't want to know.
Someone Else asked: > If you submit 60 days worth of orders for your characters. Will they > execute the second 30 days worth of orders if you do not submit a turn?
What? You've never given more than 30 days worth of orders at a time? If you look at the order template at the end of your turn, you'll see the leftovers sitting there. They'll get executed if you don't submit anything new. You can issue 5 months worth of orders, and anything that doesn't go through in the first month gets held over for the second, anf the third, and so on.
Now, the odds of them actually being worth executing by the time the second month rolls around depends on how many mistakes you made in the first month. The Answer Guy usually makes enough mistakes each month so that if he tried giving orders that far in advance, they'd never work. But maybe you have better luck.
One word of advice: Make your your nobles contract loyalties are sufficient to keep them around while you're on vacation.
Yet Someone Else Asked: > [ flattery deleted ] > Where might my mage obtain such training to help him more on his > way? He seeks scrolls on the why's and wherefore's of Scrying.
Well, you might check with the First Bank of Provinia, and see if they can scare one up for you. I hear that they offer that sort of service.
You hear someone counting money.
-- The Answer Guy
Newbie: So I form twelve contract nobles, claim all my gold, and come to meet you. Right?
Norc: Yeah, an than I'll tak care of everthnig.
More money for mundane purposes! Does the Son of Swish charge the same rates that his father did for providing manly massage services?
Yo, Ho Ho! & a bottle of rum!
To the Answer Guy: Are Pikemen or swordsmen better?
Methinks the Clan With No Name is preparing an invasion force!
> We need a WAR!!! It is getting boring!!!
Be careful what you wish for.
In the far north the Huge noble screams 'Death and Victory!' the dragons bellow their exultation as the city falls. The Garrison, newly dead, join the army.
We need a WAR!!! It is getting boring!!!
Be happy to oblige. Please state faction id and present location. We'll get back to you.
Sailing, Sailing Over the Ocean so free... Won't you come sailing with Me?
Supreme domination is now mine!
We need a WAR!!! It is getting boring!!!
The Greater Provinia Dung Board is a peaceful trade organization, which regards the foolish waste of warfare as a sad comment on the nature of Olympian society. Nonetheless, being a mercantile organization, we recognize the trade value of such confrontations, and wish to offer anyone employed in such endeavors a good price on weapons and troops.
-The Greater Provinia Dung Board
"Help!! Help!! here come the Bears!!!!!"
Another Poem From The Shadows
A fear of conflict comes along, and no one wants to make a fight. Say "can't we all just get along?", then all will surely be all right.
Has anyone ever tried crossing a peasant with an ox?