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   | The Olympia Times                                        issue g1-77 |
   | December 13, 1995                                                    |
   |                                                                      |
   | turn 77  154 players                   http://www.pbm.com/oly/times/ |

Questions, comments, to play: info@pbm.com

Olympia PBEM

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Next Wednesday's turn will be run a few hours later than usual. You may consider the turn 78 deadline to be 9pm EST instead of 6pm EST. I expect all turn reports to be out by midnight.

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Player-contributed press

We're looking for a few good nobles...

The Liberty Confederacy is accepting applications for new members! Confederates gain the invaluable benefits of collective action in return for same. The Liberty Confederacy is a loose defencive alliance of nobles who wish to pursue their happiness with their freedoms intact. We are not engaged in any debilitating wars! Newbies especially welcome.

So come to Ossicus & make your fortune with the LC!

(applications to this id#).

-- Circle of Hope [lp3]

---------------------- S. CAMARIS Update ----------------------

Monthly notice: any new visitors to our fair isle should notify us in advance.

-- The Crazy Quilters [vn7]

Listen up you mangy dogs!

My name's been fouled in this here rag more times than a baby with diarrhea. I've been embarrassed with bounties that wouldn't buy a smile in a whorehouse and called a minion of every clueless faction since the Iron Nation self-destructed. Sailed away from the Imperial City because the whining from you pustulent mongrels was killing the fish for hexes in every direction and discovered I couldn't outrun the damn Times salesman.

So I'm getting out of the pirating life. I'm retiring back to my hidden island where I'll be drinking pina coladas and laughing at you miserable land cod. You can all sail your little rowboats around the bay again in perfect safety.

Until I get bored again.

-- Swishbuckler [w0p]

___ ___ ___ / / ) / ) /___ /___/ /___/ / . _ _ /_ / )_ __ / / _ _ . __ . _ / / / _> / /___/(_>/ //< of / / (_)|// / // (_>

The First Bank of Provinia has offices in some of the major cities on the continent of Provinia. The FBoP offers the following facilities.

o Special offers for New Olympia Players. o Excellent Interest Rates on Bank Accounts. o A Fast and Efficient Courier Service. o Money Transfers. o Short and Long Term Loans. o Insurance Policies. o Pawn Broking Service.

Call in at your local branch for further details.

-- First Bank of Provinia [v0z]

The Weird One, most appropriately named, writes:

"I'll assume from this that you think _I_ posted the silly rumour about your ambushing newbies"

I have no idea if the Weird One or his friends have been posting this mildly interesting but mostly banal vague anti-Liberty Confederacy threats.

"I'm disappointed you have such little respect for my abilities in the propaganda field, coidering how thoroughly my moles have penetrated your own alliance, and how much better my diplomatic situation is than yours."

It's true that the Weird One's moles at one time had penetrated the Liberty Confederacy structure. Imagine that, penetrating an open democracy. All praise the Weird One for his tremendous accomplishent!

As for our diplomatic situation I think the Weird One's intelligence most poor on this matter, but I'll leave it to his elite moles to update him on this oh-so important topic. ;)

"As your own members who ignored my warnings can tell you, I've never claimed you did anything as wicked, or indeed profitable, as attacking new players. That's not how you chalked up so many player kills at all."

To my knowledge I've only killed off one faction of nobles & these had stopped playing so they seemed fair game. As it turned out, most of em melted before I could beat them with big sticks.

"The three main problems I see in your organisation are incompetence with the rules, inability to deal with players not under your control, and a tendency to distort the truth to the point of misleading people.

"The rules disasters are legendary, losing 3 noble-years by sailing to Ossicus without using diagonal coast lies, turning an easy victory into defeat by setting your fight-to-death threshold backwards, and the hilarious lengths you go to in each newsletter telling people how to conceal their LC membership - then you include all their names!"

Well if this isn't a bit vulgar. I fully admit to making mistakes with the rules--I've done so on many occasions & often inform new LC members of these mistakes in order to prevent them from making the same ones. It took us a while to get the diagonal rules down, & our defeat at my hands through a faulty FTTD setting was quite hillarious. But many factions make mistakes--it seems that such mistakes are an integral part of the game-and not for my faction alone. Please raise your hand if you've never made a mistake. :-)

I don't see how the structure of a democracy is a rules mistake or an interesting topic of discussion. so...

"Diplomatically, little seems to have changed since you started pointless wars with the Sheriff of Pelenth and with the earlier residents of Ossicus."

I'm somewhat at a loss here: are your moles misinforming you? I've never bashed the Sheriff--a former ally of mine did a long long time ago, but I wasn't involved in that nor was the Liberty Confederacy (details can be found in past issues of the times--long time past). As for the wars with Ossician residents, I simply don't know what you're talking about. The land was mostly empty when our little boat landed & while we did fight a small war immediately upon landing, we did so only because we were brutally attacked by some bandits who didn't realize how many of us there were & hoped to clear ou small & weak new faction. Our mutual defend orders & some luck put an end to that less then two months after we landed. We made peace with all our neighbors almost immediately & still maintain a good peace with them to this day.

"Last week's exchange on rec.games.pbm, where you call other players two-year-olds is in the same theme - right or wrong it's not the way start sensible discussions."

This is totally baffling. I have heard it said that "players" control our destiny from something mystically refered to as the "real world." On my honor as a gentlemen & a duke I must say that I find the notion that anyone controls my destiny quite absurd. Furthermore, my magi has researched extensively into the area & found no evidence that any "real world" exists. Humph!

"Basically, you're a role-player, you don't see success as important and don't bother knowing the rules or dealing with other players in a reasonable way."

Basically I'm a noble trying to get by: sometimes I make mistakes (yelling "retreat!" when I should've yelled "obliterate them!"), & sometimes I get upset (like when rude nobles insult me in the Times). I certainly enjoy the success of my duchy & other simple accomplishments & am not totally enamored with defeat. If I was I'd just surrender to the nearest giant spider colony.

"The dubious propaganda and broken promises are also still appearing. When you tell a new starter you'll provide a ship from IC and then gradually back off to suggesting he spend 2-3 years walking and sailing there you can't be surprised at becoming a laughing stock."

Whatever. I've never promised anyone boat passage to Ossicus. I've promised many that I'd ask around & I've done that quite often. Often the answer to my asking around is "er, no." I don't see how this constitutes a lie. I suggest to most interested newbies that they build a ship, preferably with other new Liberty Confederacy members, & sail themselves over. & most do this without grumbling.

"But where you veer towards wickedness is in advertising for "investors" to come and settle on Ossicus, actually claiming as a selling point that you don't charge onerous taxes. Contrast this with the view from your internal newsletter, revealing that people are needed to replace those you've lost to dropping out and that the investors will raise civ-levels for remaining castle holders. So, your tax rate on new people is the whole of what their land pays in gold - apart from you only the AOO expect to get away with a 100% tax on their serfs."

I fail to see how advertising an offer, one which you find most unfavorable, is "whicked." I'm not bending anyone's arm here: if someone wants this kind of a deal they can choose it freely. If not, I've done them no injustice. No one's complained about this but you, & you've got a castle or two, from what I gather, & so probably aren't interested in exchanging civ-values for protection (the pith of the deal).

Furthermore, if you read my newsletters more carefully you would realize that this offer is for investors, who gain LC protection in exchange for civ-values, not LC members, who gain LC allies & build castles galore wherever they want in exchange for a mutual defence agreement. These are two very different things.

"I don't suppose this will do any good reforming the LC, but if you're going to accuse me of propaganda against you, that's what you'll get."

Uh oh, & no pudding either I suppose?

In any event, I didn't accuse anyone of propogandizing against me so don't get your noble panties in a bunch on my account. I said "PPPPPPT!" to whomever was propogandizing against me & now I say "PPPPPPT!" to you for your rude & boring post.

I apologize to the Olympian community for the boring nature of this dispute of words & encourage the Weird One to think up better anti-Liberty Confederacy propaganda for our entertainment.

I will also go on record that anyone who believes in the "real world" is a member of a seriously deluded cult & should seek therapeutic advice from their local priest & sacrifice a ratspider to Atnerks to atone for their gullibility. ;-)

-- General Norc [z1a]


Just how untrustworthy is the Liberty Confederacy anyway?

Q. Why is Imperial City so crowded? A. Ever seen how many maggots infest a rotting corpse?

Farewell to the AOO - now we can get down to some serious play without those giant egos in the way....

True 'uns top tiers. --Eagle

Has anyone used demons in an army?

There is One who is quite touchy. Maybe the Angry One wants a war.

> Is there any way to replenish claim gold?

None that I know of...

I'm only in it for the money....

Someone Asked: >Is BtA still around, >i.e. did he vanish when his player quit, >or was he transferred to another member of the AOO?

A very good Question. Perhaps our anonymous friend who posts visions can find out for us.

Someone Else asked: > Is there any way to replenish claim gold?

Nope. Sorry, once you've spent it, it's gone. It'd be just *too* useful if it were otherwise.

Someone else claims: > Rich is the Answer Guy.

The Answer Guy is flattered, but is just another noble, like yourself. Perhaps wiser, perhaps not, but certainly no relation to anyone so omniscient.

Yet another Someone Asked: > So, would anybody like to suggest uses for these drums this > savage was carrying?

The savages use them for communications, and for rallying more savages. Skilled nobles are rumored to be able to learn to do the same.

And Someone Else asked: > Hey, I probably have the most turns of failed research. > Can I declare myself the winner too?

No, but you can declare yourself the biggest loser, if that's any consolation.

Still Somone Else asked: > What is a potion of slavery?

Here, drink this and you'll find out.

-- The Answer Guy

Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me. The carriage held just ourselves, And Eternity.

----the Warrior-Poet

Let peoples serve you, and nations bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may your mother's sons bow down to you. Cursed be every one who curses you, and blessed be every one who blesses you!

Genesis 27:29

Is it cheating to sell NPs?

Newbie asks Answer Guy: How many and what sort of soldiers would one need, approximately, to attack a lair with five Giant Birds in order to capture a few of them?

Q: What is the sound Swishy makes when his sailors work him over the way he likes it? A: AOO, AOOOOOOOO!

This money will be used for the Squish the Swish fund. Please donate!

Some Wheezing Whiner Remarks Again: "Boy, nothing interesting appears here anymore!"

My Increasingly Short-Tempered Response: OK. Look. Please feel free to use the following remarks in lieu of your usual uninspired display of mediocrity: "The Sky Is Falling!"

"Someone's Been Eating My Porridge!"

"If I Only Had A Brain..."

"Hey, SwishBuckler, Does Your Sister Still Swim Out to Meet The Troop Ships?"

Some Sniveling Sycophant Stammers: "So, would anybody like to suggest uses for these drums this savage was carrying?"

Just To Do You a Favor I Respond: Nah, they are useless. Just to shouw you what a fine fellow I am, I will buy them from you for 1 Gold each. If you are suspicious of my good nature, have a cigar! And study, then research BeastMastery.

-- The Not So Silent Observer

Will the AOO members get reincarnated?

Diplomatic email should be answered. Silence only makes other people worry - Friendly advice

To the enquirer: I'm afraid that you can't replenish your claimed gold. That's why you see little notes like this in The Times.

" I'd just like to say, Thanks Answer guy, you are a fountain of knowledge."

****************** Warning, Death Approaching ************** My plans are coming together very well. Soon I can send my hit squads to the lands of the AOO. There I will kill nobles. I will kill the nobles who travel from one AOO castle to another. I will kill nobles who hang out around or in AOO structures. I will kill.

Guerillas of the Mist (GOT'M) ***************************************************************

Goodbye AOO. Or not, who cares?

> Is there any way to replenish claim gold?

Sure, just quit and restart.

stack g3y

And the prophet said unto his people...

Be not afraid, for The Seekers of Light have come into this world to destroy Swishbuckler and all his frilly minions. The days of the Gay Terror are numbered. The Seekers of Light are going to make a rug out of his hairy butt.