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   | The Olympia Times                                        issue g1-51 |
   | June 14, 1995                                                        |
   |                                                                      |
   | turn 51  191 players                                                 |

Questions, comments, to play: info@pbm.com

Olympia PBEM

* * *

Player-contributed press

Can anyone tell me if pirates can be used to pilot ships in the same way that sailors can? It would make sense if they could but there is no mention of this in the rules.

-- Cognoscenti [bc5]

Because of fear of unrest and a large influx of immigrants to a continent with low resources, visitors to DRUCARTAN are asked to procure a visa before entering the area. Drucartan is a very peacefull continent, where AOO and non AOO factions live in peace and harmony. No noble has ever been attacked in Drucartan by another noble.

If you want a visa, please send a message to John Sen[m6f], describing the nobles in the party, the size of the party, and the reason for visiting Drucartan. There is no fee, and requests will only be refused in rare ( i.e. I am bringing 2000 men (or dragons) to kill all nobles ) circumstances.

ANNOUNCEMENT: ==============

The Sen Clan would like to speak to any factions living on the island north of central Drucartan

-- The Sen Clan [di4]


Apologies to any who have been trying to reach us; our server is having severe problems. Try forwarding to s5e again, though, and it should work now. All orders will be sent once we can get at our mail. Stilll, maps are available! Get yours today from the Illustrated Man [s5e] in the Imperial City! If you're a new player, only 75 gold for all the info known about Provinia and the world! For experienced players, ask about a blow-up of your area of the world!

-- The Midnight Carnival [nx2]

The Isle of Pallia is claimed by the Jade Lotus Society and Trees R Us. Please notify us prior to landing, so that no unfortunate misunderstandings occur.

-- Jade Lotus Society [va5]

---------------------- S. CAMARIS Update ----------------------

Business as usual. Namely, any new visitors to our fair lands should notify us in advance.

-- The Crazy Quilters [vn7]

If you're interested in North-Central Ossicus (roughly bu56 to bw66), you should contact me. Also, contact me if you plan to make "The blood...flow on West Ossicus" as that may conflict with my plans. ;)

-- General Norc [z1a]

Lud leaned on his crossbow & bent his ear to the words of his friend Dork. Dork was immitating the first mate, the fishmaster Prospero, who, earlier that day, had departed the greatship Talon to sow hatred & dissention among the masses of ignorant peasants.

"Evil grippeth the land friends! & we must smite the evil ones!" Dork mimicked. As he spoke he flailed his arms in a ridiculous manner, making him appear quite foolish. The sailors & crossbowmen laughed.

Jerk, who nobody liked, swung his crossbow & bopped Dork over the head. Dork swung his crossbow back & the crew of the Talon joined in a brawl. Lud gave Jerk a wedgie, & then the brave Captain Trocero, who was busy widdling a tree down into a crossbow, broke up the fight by pummeling Jerk, for the Captain didn't much like him either.

"Arrrr, cease this brawlin' you motley crew, or I'll keel-haul the lot o' ya. Especially you, Jerk."

"But noble sir!" Jerk intoned with his nasaly, whiny voice, "I was but defending the good mate who Dork, with caricatured voice & body, did slander!"

"Arrrrr, be this true Dork? Didst thou, with craicatured voice & body, slander my friend Prospero?" Captain Trocero asked.

"No Sir," Dork fumbled, "I mean yes Sir, but no also Sir."

"Arrrrr, what mean you by 'yes' & 'no?'"

"Well Sir, I did caricature the good mate, as Jerk says. But not meaning Sir Prospero any harm, you see. No, I'd fight to the death for you Sir, & the mate too, you know I would! Ever since your grace hired me way back on Provinia years ago I've done just what you ordered. It's just, well.., I realize that I'm no man of great learning or experience, Sir, & I would never question noble Prospero, who deserves all my worshipful respect. But I've seen a little in this great big world, not as much as you, goodly Sir, or the good Sir Prospero, but I've seen some. Those peasants, those angry peasants Sir, they just seemed so gullible. The good mate, may no harm e'er come to him, he just fills their heads with foolishness, you said so yourself Sir, on many occasion, as has the good mate. So you see Sir, I was makin' sport of the peasants, er, not the good mate."

"Arrrrrr," the Captain mused, "I see what you be thinkin' my good Dork. It be true, the peasants are ignorant & dumb, ready to follow to their deaths any smooth-tongued blowhard with a noble pedigree. The peasant's life is rough, there's no denyin' it. What does he think of it? He suffers, that is true, so someone must be to blame! Arrrrr, someone must be the cause of this suffering!

"You boys, you're beyond that now. I made ya' honorable soldiers. You be smart enough to know that you shouldn't trust in yer own judgement but in the judgement of yer betters. Arrrrr, that's good. That's the soldiers way. The honorable way!

"But you know it isn't all killin' & dyin' for us soldiers, no. We have problems too. Dissenters, backstabbers: the dishonorable soldiers who're but the sign & semblance of their honor. You know who I'm talkin' about boys," & the Captain turned to Jerk. "Let's keel-haul the bastard!!"

A rousing cheer went up from the deck of the Talon as ropes & pullies were assembled for the sport of Jerk the Unliked. Prospero glanced up from his rabble-rousing & shook his head. "Arrrr," he growled, "looks like I'm gonna' miss me another keel-haulin.' Well, there's no helpin' it."

"Arise! Arise! oppressed peasants!" he bellowed. "You have nothing to lose but your chains!"

-- Captain Trocero [l3c]

This is monthly notice if you wish to visit the environs of Cycarth and Redwine please be courteous enough to let m9l know (you can reach him at heyman@camis.stanford.edu. I do not currently plan to restrict access, but would like to know who is wandering around in my front yard. I would especially like to know if you plan on using any of the natural resources (peasants, wood, and the like) in the provinces bt25 bt26 bt27 bu25 bu26 bu27 bv25 bv26 bv27 bw25 bw26 and bw27.

-- Darkman [m9l]


Visitors are welcome to the area controlled by the Cohorts of Colossus [vo4], as long as they obtain travel permits first. Not all requests will be granted. The affected area includes the land provinces bounded by bx25 and bz27, and the province by24.

To avoid possible misunderstandings, do not enter this area without a permit, nor collect resources without express permission. Violators of this policy may be subject to arrest.

I only rarely refuse reasonable requests, and then only because I've already granted my quota.

This policy helps ensure the security of all nobles within these lands. If you are interested in a franchise on collecting resources in one of these provinces, please contact me. I have friendly arrangements with several factions along these lines.

-- Sheriff Pelenth of Gentlewind [f3i]

Journal - Snowmelt, Year 7

Mmm, uh, uh. I see. One can touch the True Source here. It just takes a different kind of knowledge....

The Lord of the Morning, The Dragon,

-- Lews Therin Telamon [m3m]

Visit Tangiers, Allah's jewel of the north. See what all the fuss is about. As always, contact me if you will be visiting

-- Tibilt the Bold [e7r]

What is this blighted land they call Caburh? Swamps and forests cover the land, and are in turn covered by snow and ice. Amazingly life seems to go on as normal here in the far north, though for a visitor like me, I can't see how anyone could live here without going mad. Will I ever see a clear sky again?

-- Hans Shadowspawn [r2y]

Ferrenstone wanted! I'm interested in exploring the Ferrenstone market. If anyone has access to these goodies drop me a line & maybe we can make each other rich.

-- Dixtheus [e3i]

The Olympia Atlas is accepting contributions, and is available for download! Be the first to contribute information for unexplored lands (Faery).

In the tradition of Oleg's Map (tm), the Atlas is a compilation of geographical information useful for explorers, traders, and adventurers. Best of all, it's absolutely free!

To contribute to the Atlas, simply send turn excerpts (cut out all the incriminating parts) that contain the following information:

o) Mapping data (region & route info) o) City market reports o) City skills lists o) Inner locations

and send it to sx6@g1.pbm.com. We'll include it into the next version of the Atlas.

The Atlas is available by ftp from your nearest PBM ftp site (ftp.erg.sri.com in the USA, check the PBM FAQ for other sites), in the directory /pub/pbm/olympia, as atlas.X, where X is the turn of the last update.

The Atlas is also available on the PBMGames forum on CompuServe, in the fantasy games section, as atlas.oly.

Brought to you by the Skulking Vermin (sx6)

Note!! Due to Real-Life (tm) commitments, the Atlas will be appearing irregularly, as I have time to assemble contributions.

-- Sludge [x0o]

This is to notifiy all concerned that I have purchased the rights to the city of Brook Bridge [fo0l] and it's environs from Bligh. Anyone intending to visit this city (location b050) or any of the surrounding spaces should contact me first for a visa. No reasonable requests will be refused.

-- The Great Turtle [s5o]


*****REWARD***** Wanted Dead:

Bastrestric ther Archymonaged

For continuing crimes against nobility, and for questioning in the untimely death of the dearly departed Miyuki-san.

Information leading to the death of BtA will earn a noble 1000 gold payable in IC.

Location reports should be placed in the Times *****REWARD*****


De toutes les satisfactions, de toutes les joies, de toutes les jouissances que pourrait provoquer chez les ames sensible la gloire recoltee sur ces continents virtuels, aucune ne vaudra jamais le plaisir prochain de voir cet infame Dogmatix se balancer au bout d'une corde.

Don't be deceived: the noble fight against AOO is nothing more than a turf battle. Try to stay out of the middle!

Somebody killed my Gladiator! In the Arena, in the Imperial City!

Ooops, Sorry. Wrong Game! 8-)

Captain Ahab walked up and down the shipyard barking order to the men. He was restless, pining for the sea. "Just a few more months...", he muttered.

Has anyone yet answered the question of whether inner locations repopulate? Our observation: so far we haven't seen this, but we've only been watching an empty location for 10 months or so.

I hear thar be bandits about. Perhaps it's time to get out? These parts are unsafe for the likes of you and me. Imperial City indeed! More like a dump gone to seed. Let's begone to warmer climes where the powers will let you be.

How many AOO members have "dropped out of the AOO"? How many dropped out for real? How many have dropped out to pretend they aren't AOO...?

Does Marat really exist, or is he just a sick figment of Atnerks' most perverted imagination?

Clifford's City Market Database: 117 city market reports and growing. Send in a city market report not yet in the database and for EACH report, you will receive a report each week on the commodity of your choice. For further info, write to w4t@g1.pbm.com.

We thought it was rather odd to look for a grove under a rock, but the boss did say "Leave no stone unturned in your search for lana bark!"

Q. What is stupidly big, has over a thousand legs and flies? A. Impedimenta's funeral procession

From TIMES #50: "Worried factions want to know! what can we do to keep our magi safe from the arch-twit of the Chateau? Experienced gamers! don't leave us in the lurch: publish your knowledge so the AOO won't have any easy targets!" OUR REPLY: You think we're going to sit here & tell you everything we know? Go out & find some stuff out for yourself!!! - Naifs Not Nice to Nattering Newbies (The N5 Society)

The woods resound with the clatter of armor as the soldiers take up their positions.

Gentlewind lay burning. The fields had been sown with salt. Weeping overshadowed the wail of the wind through the smoking ruins....

Q: How many Dogs does it take to capture Ilion from the AOO?

A: Three - one to run about barking and not biting, one to destroy the castle of a neutral third party, and one to write it up in The Times as a victory.

Soon to be playing, "Dragons over Drucartan". Burn baby burn! --The Dragonriders

"I'm not bored anymore."

"They're just vermin, sister. Our men should have no difficulty with them."

"They look so silly, carrying that toy around with them."

"We will destroy the little beasts."

"No! We'll harm them as little as possible."

"No. We will finish them quickly and move on."


"No arguments, brother, sister. We're neither here to wantonly slay nor to protect. We are here to learn."

If anyone has a land claim on Areth Lorbin, please post them in this fine publication. -The East Ossicans

I am interested in running trade routes for some noble who is established. Please respond through times. For the second time.

Savages are wimps.

Again I have been assaulted! I was exploring again and was attacked and a noble died. Once again with no provocation. The fiends who did this best rembember that they did this, for I surely will.

It sure is funny how fast the cash flow tends to dwindle.... I sure hope that the carrier pigeons are fast and strong..

How many coconuts can a carrier pigeon carry anyway?

Nothing satisfies like a BTA sandwich. :-) Mmmmmm. Good!

Anybody has news on the Ferry to the Cloud Land?

> The Isle of Pallia is claimed by the Jade Lotus Society and Trees R Us. > Please notify us prior to landing, so that no unfortunate > misunderstandings occur. > -- Jade Lotus Society [va5]

This would be no problem, except that most of us have NO IDEA where this island of yours is, so we can't exactly tell in advance when we are going to accidentally stumble over you.

Nobels!! Always scream'n and yell'n, do this do that. first it's march norh then it's march south, make up yer mind ya blueblood. At least we aere going one direction this time. Sgt. Bullocks

Barriers in the Atnos Channel, Zounds! Is killing newbies really worth so much trouble? Advice to newbies, keep your gold UNCLAIMED. Your cannot help being a target. But don't be a rich target!

Obscure Ways and People of Olympia.

With the start of the Accidental Orc Olympics we thought this would be a good time to highlight some of the events in this extravaganza.

The Rat Throw - The winner is the orc that can throw a rat the farthest. The contestant grabs a large rat by the tail spins around 3 times and then throws the rat. This is a very popular event because doing this makes the rat extremely mad and since the orcs have no idea of crowd control the rat often lands in the audience. Also if one is lucky you may see an orc grow dizzy and pass out before throwing the rat. The revenge the rat gives to the contestant is a delight enjoyed by all the spectators.

The Sludge - A course is made by digging a trench down a hill side. The trench is then filled with anything the orcs can find that is slippery or slimy. The contestants then slide down the course using their own thick skin and leather armor in place of a sled. While this is meant to be a race, whoever is the winner is random. Because they score by having a judge counting the elapsed time. But the judges cant count very high ( commonly ten but often less because of battle injuries ) so after ten they start faking it by "counting" what ever number comes into their head next.

Bwral Ball - The object of this sport is to see which of 2 teams can get the ball across the goal line the most number of times. But the orcs toss a coin before each game to determine which team gets the ball first. Once the coin lands on the ground both teams, most of the refs, and a good number of the spectators start fighting. All claiming the coin is theirs. After an hour or two one of the weaker orks that was knocked out early comes to. Having forgotten about the coin he sees the long forgotten ball, not remembering about the game either he tries to steal the ball and unknowingly carries the ball across a goal line making the winning and only score of the game. Of course the fight for the coin goes on for a couple more days.

Sblat Ball - Two teams try to hit a ball over a net trying to make the other team miss the ball the most times. The excitement starts when the teams try to get an advantage by hiding small catapults off the court and then using them to throw rocks made to look like the ball at the other team. It is common to see three "balls" in the air at once. The real ball and a catapult shot from each side. The winner is the team with the last player that can stand. Though in some games the last player on each team is knocked out at the same time then the game goes into an overtime consisting of an artillery duel between the 2 catapults.

A notice for newcomers to Provinia. The resources in bx23 are being used at the direction of Duke Marat. Bellabane [o3z] Forester of the Wheel

TO: Clarence, Duke of Pentaria Since you have more-or-less eliminated my clan by unprovoked attacks, I can think of nothing better to do than send an unending stream of other branches of the clan to harass your borders. I hope you enjoy the company.

Christening the Ice Queen: She was a fire, raging in the night; And then one day, as we thought she might; She turned cold as a bitter November night.

Come celebrate week 52 with us. All are welcome for this week. Religious and secular celebrations and parties are planned. Various contests of skill in combat and magic will be held, and prizes awarded.

Liberty's Harum open for study. The Priestess is in and waiting for willing students. Nominal fees collected for gown. Study materials provided at cost.

Will someone explain Faery to those of us who have no clue please?

"...and then there was the time I found this here solid gold lamp see, a gen-u-ine artifact it be, yes, yes, and you kin make it work like thus and so..."

"From The Land Beyond Beyond, From The World Past Hope and Fear, I Bid You Djinni Now Appear!"

"Hey, wait a minute..."

"One minute I'm sailing to Tollus with my pals, swilling Kodva and playing with my artifacts, the next minute I'm stumbling around some god-forsaken pest hole with a buncha guys dressed up in devil suits!"

"Dammit, what happened to all my nice weapons and winged horses!?" "And what's this crap stamped on my hand "Gehenna, Admit One"!?"

"At first glance this place reminds me of one I visited a long time ago. Maybe _this_ is where Miyuki disappeared to. Ah well, at least there's no piles of licorice and jade idols to trip over."

And with that the Ancient One turned and vanished in a cloud of thin orange smoke.

I wish people would post the areas of this world that need permits to visit? It's really annoying to get bounced by 'Duke ******' troops, before I can even ask for a permit.

I calmed him down, he was gibbering, his face was twisted in horror, with tears streaming down his face, he began to speak, "It was horrible! I saw it in the Imperial forest. It was an enormous tree with horrible ropy black tentacles. There were great puckered mouths which dripped green goo on the surface of it. As it walked toward me I saw that it had tentacle-legs that ended in black hooves. It smelled like an open grave. The thought of it terrifies me." It was then that I told him about the Dark Young. He scream again and then died, his face permanently etched with a horrifying visage.