+----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | The Olympia Times issue g1-42 | | April 12, 1995 | | | | turn 42 194 players "42!" | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+
Questions, comments, to play: firstname.lastname@example.org
* * *
You can't farcast an aura blast from a safe haven.
The problem whereby one could not MOVE OUT of a tower in a castle when the castle's owner does not have admit permissions set has been fixed. One can always leave a building now, even if the owner of the surrounding structure does not have admit set.
Because of fear of unrest and a large influx of immigrants to a continent with low resources, visitors to DRUCARTAN are asked to procure a visa before entering the area.
If you want a visa, please send a message to John Sen[m6f], describing the nobles in the party, the size of the party, and the reason for visiting Drucartan. There is no fee, and requests will only be refused in rare ( i.e. I am bringing 2000 men to kill all nobles ) circumstances.
-- The Sen Clan [di4]
And here, just for the OOMF is:
The boy stood on the burning deck. His lips were all a-glow. Miyuki-chan had kissed him once, Now theres nothing more to know.
The memories burned inside his head, And trembled through his limbs. He worships now at Miyuki's feet, And begs forgiveness of his sins.
But Miyuki states "the sins are great, especially with custard and cheese. But don't you go to other places 'cos they're infested with fleas!"
"Try this drink, I'm sure you'll think, it's the best you've ever tasted. It's my special wine, you'll agree it's fine. In a minute you'll be wasted."
The boy stood on the burning deck, The flames got hotter and hotter. He got press-ganged to sea, when he nipped out to pee. And the captain is really a rotter.
He dived off the deck, it'd soon be a wreck. And swum for his life to the shore. In his mind he delights, of Miyuki-chan's sights.
And of rolling with her on the floor.
So ends this tale, of a boy who set sail, and wishes to get back to shore. Back to dry land, and to Miyuki's hand.
Stay tuned and listen for more....
-- Draconian Elite [fg4]
VISIT THE ILLUSTRATED MAN'S IMPERIAL EMPORIUM!!! The Illustrated Man wants to thank the customers who have been putting unsolicited testimonials in the rumors section about his maps. You guys are the greatest!
SALES: NEW!! Catapults: 90 gold Pikes: 15 gold Crossbows: 15 gold Longswords: 30 gold Longbows: 45 gold
And of course, Maps!
What are these maps? They are drawn in 7 colors, with graphical symbols representing all kinds of terrain and internal locations. They are available by surface mail only, upon payment to the Illustrated Man (s5e) in the Imperial City, or the supplying of new terrain information. Just send me the info or payment and your surface mail address, and a map will go winging to you!
Prices: New customers -- 75 gold or 15 new provinces Repeat customers -- 35 gold or 10 new provinces Custom Sizing -- Add 100 gold to your order, and any two map squares. We will send you a map for the rectangle defined by those squares, in addition to the regular maps of Provinia and the world! Other special arrangements also available -- just ask.
This offer brought to you by...
The Midnight Carnival ___ ||||| /\ =====----`==== oo oo /\ /\
-- The Midnight Carnival [nx2]
ANTI-PIRACY LEAGUE REPORTS
Again, any pirates caught plying their trade in the Atnos Channel will be caught and ruthlessly dealt with! Find a safer way of making a living, besides preying on defenseless newbies! End floating scum!
-- The Midnight Carnival [nx2]
Notice yak,yak,yak Branwen and surrounding areas of Allasus yak,yak,yak ct03-cv06 and cw03-cx05 yak,yak,yak contact Darrien Esterior [z8j]. Friendly visitors welcome yak,yak,yak unfriendly ones not yak,yak.
[Brought to you by the Society for Shorter Land Claim Announcements.]
-- Gonthorian Adventurers [so9]
Still no other nobles to be found in the swamps. We have fought a few animals and bandits, but they were little challenge. We move onward to the next city. Travel is slow and we are taking time to explore each province.
-- Seekers of Knowledge [tt4]
----------------------- CAMARIS Update -----------------------
All the Camaris'es now have active castles and garrison efforts in place; the eyes of the explorers turn at last to the uncharted waters of the far north and south isles.
-- Compte du S. Camaris [b4q]
-- The Crazy Quilters [vn7]
This is monthly notice if you wish to visit the environs of Cycarth and Redwine please be courteous enough to let m9l know (you can reach him at email@example.com. I do not currently plan to restrict access, but would like to know who is wandering around in my front yard. I would especially like to know if you plan on using any of the natural rsources (peasants, wood, and the like) in the provinces bt25 bt26 bt27 bu25 bu26 bu27 bv25 bv26 bv27 bw25 bw26 and bw27.
By order of Darkman, caretaker of Dark Castle
-- Dweezil [e5q]
Pilgrims Aid Society
The Tax Man cometh, at least he does if you live in the U.S.A. Very few travelers have knocked at the Aid Society door these last few months. The door remains open but I will post less frequently to avoid cluttering up the Olympia Times.
-- Akmall Benhalla [p3p]
War is an extension of politics by other means. - von Clausewitz
I am sick of reading the whines about how the "evil AOO have turned our precious Olympia into a wargame."
Olympia is not a wargame, its a political game. One of the tools of politics is military force.
Survival is not a given. There are many bogeymen out there. To me, that makes survival and success all the more sweet. But don't assume that people will see your heart and know what a sweet person you are and leave you alone.
After all, to the naked eye, the lovable Oleg looks a whole lot like the despicable Rory.
The much-maligned Marat, as far as I can see, has done nothing other than build a castle, defend it, and keep his promises to his allies. For this he's got attacked a few times, and received much reviling.
Consider how things could be. Is every stranger in his territory given the third degree, as they in the territory of the Gauls? Or killed, as they are on Rimmon?
-- Taira Yoshinawa [t6k]
The Olympia Atlas is accepting contributions, and is available for download! Be the first to contribute information for unexplored lands (Faery).
In the tradition of Oleg's Map (tm), the Atlas is a compilation of geographical information useful for explorers, traders, and adventurers. Best of all, it's absolutely free!
To contribute to the Atlas, simply send turn excerpts (cut out all the incriminating parts) that contain the following information:
o) Mapping data (region & route info) o) City market reports o) City skills lists o) Inner locations
and send it to firstname.lastname@example.org. We'll include it into the next version of the Atlas.
The Atlas is available by ftp from your nearest PBM ftp site (ftp.erg.sri.com in the USA, check the PBM FAQ for other sites), in the directory /pub/pbm/olympia, as atlas.X, where X is the turn of the last update.
The Atlas is also available on the PBMGames forum on CompuServe, in the fantasy games section, as atlas.oly.
Brought to you by the Skulking Vermin (sx6)
-- Sludge [x0o]
Announcement: Cyllenedos is declared a Protectorate.
In the name of the Lords of Allasus and Ollayos, I declare the island of Cyllenedos (which is two rows south of those lands) to be within the sphere of interest of our alliance. We currently have units occupying Cyllenedos, but it is far too large to be colonized by us. Instead, we intend to protect it for immigrants who are willing to join our alliance. Its lairs will be preserved for its future inhabitants as much as possible. All factions who are not willing to join us are warned to stay away. Casual visitors, treasure-seekers, etc., will be issued polite warnings followed (in case of unsatisfactory response) by forcible eviction.
-- Tiglath The Inscrutable [m2n]
Tangiers, Jewel of the North, awaits. Contact Tibilt the Bold [e7r] if you are planning to visit any part of the Barbary Coast, in Northern West Camaris. Traders welcome.
-- Tibilt the Bold [e7r]
Announcing the opening of a new and exciting addition to Provinia. ___ ___ ___ / / ) / ) /___ /___/ /___/ / . _ _ /_ / )_ __ / / _ _ . __ . _ / / / _> / /___/(_>/ //< of / / (_)|// / // (_>
The First Bank of Provinia has now opened offices in some of the major cities on the continent of Provinia. The FBoP offers the following facilities.
o Excellent Interest Rates on Bank Accounts. o A Fast and Efficient Courier Service. o Money Transfers. o Short and Long Term Loans. o Insurance Policies.
Call in at your local branch for further details.
-- First Bank of Provinia [v0z]
Visitors are welcome to the area controlled by the Cohorts of Colossus [vo4], as long as they obtain travel permits first. Not all requests will be granted. The affected area includes the land provinces bounded by bx25 and bz27.
To avoid possible misunderstandings, do not enter this area without a permit.
-- Sheriff Pelenth of Gentlewind [f3i]
The Brotherhood of Ormos claims the city of Avalon [ao0k] and all lands and resources inside the boundary of [bp05]-[bp08]-[br06] -[br09] inclusive, as its sole and lawful demense. Those wishing to visit Ormos are required to request a visa and await clearance before attempting to make landfall. All unauthorized visitors are unwelcome and looked upon with extreme prejudice. Captains needing to make landfall at Avalon for emergency repairs will not be molested, but are still required to contact me for a visa.
-- Pelinore Dragonslayer [p4s]
Our thanks to Hobbes of Aethelarn for providing me with his most gracious permission to let me study in his glorious temple. Let all know that Hobbes is a fine fellow indeed (no matter what Calvin or the rest of the Kilrathis think)! After all what's a prophet without the ability to receive visions?
-- Nostradamus [w8i]
This is a notice that Bill Viggers, who owns the Grey Lands faction, will be on vacation for the next few turns and I will be running his position during this time. If anyone has any business to discuss with this faction they should email me at email@example.com. Please note that the Cloudlands public ferry service will not be operational during this time.
-- Amber [s0s]
Platinum Jak would like to announce the winner of his Lotto during Fierce Winds But he cant - because not even one ticket was bought from Platinum Jak during Fierce Winds. Well that at least saves me from paying out more than was bet. Which was the gamble I was taking. I now sees the error of my ways. Of course gamblers dont stay in IC but are out in Olympia seeking their fate. It looks like it will soon be time to rejoin them.
-- Platinum Jak [n9x]
Journal - Fierce winds, Year 6
Farseeker was offered his Captaincy back, but did not take it. Even Jearom tires of trying to give the man is own ship back.
I will just insist that Jearom give the Captaincy back ASAP. By the source, give the man a place as Captain of the Guard and he thinks he runs the show!
The Lord of the Morning, The Dragon,
-- Lews Therin Telamon [m3m]
Oooh, magical barrier's all over Provinia! It appears that you can fly over a magical barrier. how fun!
-- Dixtheus [e3i]
I am looking to buy a pair of winged horses in the Imperial city. I will trade a ship made to order for them or pay 400 gold each. -firstname.lastname@example.org
-- Pedro Alvares Cabral [m5e]
I would like to congratulate the Illustrated Man for his new edition of wonderful, colorful, maps of Olympia. These are truly works of art, and no castle should be without a framed set to decorate the main hall. - the Crimson Sage
-- Seline Fireflower [w0l]
Wow--a few comments in the newsletter and all kinds of questions about me come up. Some of them must be pretty accurate, especially about Chateau Olympique's owner, sniveler that he is...
-- Tigris Ripclaw [b3f]
As High Sage for the College of Thamaturgists, I would like to apologise to the scientific community of Olympia for my error in translation of the Book of Prophesis, which I have recently uncovered during an intensive review. This review, originally directed toward the end of definitively fixing the length of time it took Atnerks to create the world, accidentally uncovered the fact that the Book was written in a different number-base than that which we employ in Provinia. The island-bound mad monk who created the book used a numbering system almost intranslatable into our base-8 system (in addition to writing in a mirror-reversed character-transposed private language. For instance, the term for "aura-blast" was replaced by "bundlegrist," and written out as something indescribable in this medium. The words for "pikeman," "orc oil salesman," and "marat" were replaced with "flakestone," "archymonaged," and "wanker," respectively.). As a result, all extant translations are in error as far as regards numeration. Normally, this scholastic "snafu" would not be of interest outside of the scientific community, and I would not go so public with this rather embarrassing admission. However, I am aware of an end-of-the- world cult which has sprung up as a result of the translation of a chapter of the Book, chapter 6:02, and I have seen frantic preparation for the coming of the end in the area around Imperial City. Let me make it clear: the citation to 6:02 is off, and I will inform the populace of the correct numbering as soon as I have determined it to a comforting degree of certainty.
My apologies to all affected.
Sage Theron Adamastis, MAA, C.o.T.
How in Hades do I get to Hades? I ask anonymously because I want info, not a free trip on the end of a sword.
All of West Camaris is claimed. If you want permission to visit, please contact Duke Marat or his representative(s). No harvesting of resources will be permitted without prior approval.
You have been warned!
Does anyone know if a Potion Of Augmentation has any other effects appart from confering Enhanced Strength  upon the user? A wandering tribe of savages kindly donated one to me shortly before becoming very deceased. There was no lore sheet with this skill but I now seem to be able to carry five hundred extra weight units and have also gained +50 to my attack stat.
Please post any information in next month's times
I just don't need that 25 gold enough to keep up this patter. Do you?!
Have you noticed that Olympia is full of men? (With the exception of Madame M of course)
Come see why this is not a bad thing at
(dance your chain mail off with all-night happy hours at Provenia's first, best (and only) all-male disco!)
600 men here, 150 men there, the AOO sure is good at killing off the rabble.
Run away! Run away! The AOO is in retreat! Film at 11!
For maximum confusion, let's all name ALL our characters "Oleg the Loudmouth". Shades of 'Casino Royale'! *That* should confuse the heck out of all the AOO meanies.
-- Oleg the Loudmouth 007
Can the AOO really control all of faery?
Hard lessons: Fight to the Death: 100% is weak, 0% tough Attacking: 1: if you order an attack on a structure, the attack will take a day even if the structure is empty. 2: if you order an attack & are not stack leader, the order will fail. 3: if you order an attack & the target is missing the order will fail. 4: if you have a defend order on an allied faction, & somebody attacks a structure they own, you will not rush to their defence unless you have a defend order on the structure.
"If the rebels who have no known record of banditry want to join our side, should we let them?"
Ah, duh! Yes! Of course! Treason is historically the achilles heal of tyrants: let us exploit it!
It is possible to err on the side of pity: obviously these Provinian traitors seek only to save their own skins & are not reliable allies. For their help in ending the reign of the AOO, they should be allowed to keep their estates. However, they should be required:
1: to give up some of their outlying garrisons to more worthy Resistance Lords, &
2: to vassal themselves to a Resistance Provinian Lord like Dogmatrix or someone like that. They should have to pledge their land & pay a reasonable tithe (in money or supplies or whatever).
A Soviet Kiev-class vessel has been spotted off Drucartan. Anyone want to claim it?
Shay Tollin stood on the parapet, looking down the mountain to the forest below.
"Are the crystals aligned? You've buried them in the proper places? Good. Let us begin."
Tollin lifted his voice in song, and the crystals reflected the harmony, forming an intricate web of color in the air over the forest below. The pattern then crystallized, forming an almost invisible barrier over the forest.
"There, Marat, it is done. Let them come now. We will be ready."
What a brawl! damned ally got drunk & attacked me by mistake. Well, he won't do that again! I smashed his skull! too bad we each had fight to the death: we just don't know when to say when! Well, time to hire the priest on OT.
The AOO seemed to come boiling out of bx22 like ants out of an anthill when you poke it with a sharp stick, didn't they? At least, that's one of the kindest metaphors that comes to mind.
The rumor claiming Noren is the last times and requiring permission from Duke Marat to visit there is completely false. The Duke has no interest in Noren.
Clifford's City Market Database: 109 city market reports and growing Send in a city market report not yet in the database and you will receive a report each week on the commodity of your choice. For further info, write to email@example.com.
The bar wench said, "No!", until I told her I had a Illustrated Man's map in my room.
The days of the AOO and even MAFOC are numbered. We are many, we are strong, and we are sick of this petty bickering. Cease your hostilities or face the wrath of K.H.A.N.!
Some hidden locations are harder to find than others. Either a vision or a scry will pinpoint where to look, assuming you know the code for the location. (If you don't, using the Atlas and a little logic, you should be able to figure it out!)
Mary had a Nazgul The Nazgul sure did smell Mary went to heaven The Nazgul went to Hell
Brought to you by the Federation Against Nazguls And Terrifying Interloping Creatures (FANATIC)
"Duke Marat here - blah, blah, blah - claiming all of this - blah, blah, blah, - don't touch it! blah, blah, blah - all mine! - blah, blah, blah - mine-mine-mine-mine-mine - blah, blah, blah." (Sound familiar, folks?)
verse 8: The Sword of Stealth is given to One lowly and despised. Sightblinder's gifts: his eyes are keen His nature is disguised. Fred Saberhagen The Complete Book of Swords
Does anyone have some gate crystals for sale? Contact u0z.
Oof, I hate it when one of my companions just takes off without me. She didn't even give me the chance to give her some rather vital items. Oh well, She went off unprepared and paid for it. Deserters are annoying, but I hope she won't forget this lesson.
What does AOO really stand for? And what does the AOO really stand for?
Appearing all this month on the Imperial City Stage "The Quarrymen". This quartet of minstrels, all former rock carvers involved with the construction on Provinia's infamous Chateau O. and outbuildings will perform an original production entitled "The Scrying Game". Nobles familiar with one Miyuki may notice that the lead thespian in this extravaganza looks quite familiar, but rest assured that under those costumes all four minstrels are men. Rumor has it that the theme song has been dedicated to the whining factions on Krussos. The chorus of this catchy tune goes something like: "It's my noble and I'll scry if I want to Scry if I want to You would scry too if you knew what I knew" -Red Reex, Imperial City Critic at Large
Here is some late news. A group of fishermen reported a dishevelled form was seen staggering out of the sea at Brady Beach near the Imperial City earlier today. Apparently it managed to croak the name 'Miyuki' - a lady of some notoriety in the City - before stumbling off into the bushes. Despite a search by local Militia no sign was found of this creature.
A month out at sea and I still can't stand up straight. All the wind and storms out in the Atnos Channel doesn't help either. Next time I think I'll walk!
Wow, I got a book of Necromancy! Now I can go to Hell!
It was a warm day, despite the breeze. The sun shone on the snow- capped mountain peaks, on the sheep grazing on the slopes of the valley below, on a team of workers laboring on a half-completed building, and on a man inspecting the fruits of their labor. The mason nodded to himself. Things were coming on well; another fortnight should see the construction finished. A voice behind him said quietly, "How's it going?" The mason turned around to greet his friend, who as usual had a shaggy grey wolf on either side of him. "Not bad. Should be finished in another couple of weeks..." The mason looked at the wolves, which were panting from the heat. "Something I've been meaning to ask you, by the way... how can you control animals like that? Is it just a natural talent, or is there any way I could learn how to do it?" The beastmaster shrugged. "It takes practice, but anyone can learn. Basically, what's involved is ... ..." The mason frowned, puzzled. The other man's mouth was moving, but he couldn't hear any words. "What's with the mime act?" The beastmaster frowned in his turn. "I was telling you how to control animals, like you asked me to." "How come I couldn't hear you saying anything then?" "Dunno. Maybe someone's put a hex on us or something???" "Here, I've an idea. Follow me..." The mason led the other man to his study. Pushing aside a pile of invoices for construction materials, he found a blank piece of paper and handed the beastmaster a pen. "Try writing it down and see what happens." The beastmaster started writing, then stopped - his words were fading from the paper as fast as he wrote. "By Atnerks' brass balls, is this invisible ink or what???" "No. There's something very peculiar going on here. Let's go and talk to someone who knows about this sort of thing." The sorceress looked up from the book she was studying when the two men walked in. "Yes, what can I do for you?" "Ah, we've got a problem. My friend here was trying to tell me how he does the trick of controlling animals, but I couldn't hear any of what he was saying. Then he tried to write it down but it just faded as fast as he wrote it. Looks like someone's put a hex on us." "No no, it's not a hex. By the will of the almighty Atnerks, no man may teach another the art of how to perform any task other than the most menial. Have you never read the Holy Book?" The sorceress gestured to one of the volumes on the shelf beside her, a tome of great antiquity entitled 'Olympia II: Rules of Play'. The mason flashed her a brief grin. "I get paid to put up buildings, you get paid to read ancient lore." The sorceress laughed cheerfully. "Maybe you're right. But anyway, that's the way it is..." The beastmaster spoke up. "But what about my teachers in Aethelarn where I was trained? How come I could understand them?" "Registered teachers at the colleges in the cities are granted a special exemption. There's only one other circumstance in which exemption is granted." The mason looked hopeful. "Oh, what's that?" "Well, if the knowledge of how to practise an art is written on a scroll made from a special sort of bark, it can be read. It can only be read once though, then the scroll vanishes and a new one has to be written." The mason frowned incredulously. "*Bark*???" The sorceress nodded. The mason sighed. "Well, the forest's closer than Aethelarn I suppose. I could maybe arrange for our lumberjack team to bring some with the next consignment of wood." "Er, no. It has to be bark from a circle of trees and there aren't any in this area." "A circle of trees? Well can we plant some trees in a circle then?" "Sorry, no. By the will of the almighty Atnerks, no man may plant trees in a circle, nor chop down any tree therefrom." "And there aren't any circles of trees around here?" "None within several hundred miles, I'm pretty sure. I could contact some of my associates on other continents, I'm sure at least one of them'll know where to find some." "But if they're that far away, wouldn't it take longer than just riding down to Aethelarn myself?" The sorceress nodded sympathetically. "I'm afraid so. Sorry." The mason sighed. "Have we any spare horses?"
The Civil Guardians Arrive
The Civil Guardians have been founded in Imperial City by an unknown warrior who calls himself Parantis. Rumour has it that Parantis has recently been deported from Medievia and arrived in Imperial City covered in MUD! he tells me that he is looking for friendly factions, who are new to Olympia, to negotiate treaties with. If YOU are new to Imperial City look out for a trail of mud and then follow it to Parantis. He is a fine honourable warrior worthy of friendship and trust.
In particular, Parantis has been overheard asking for directions to public washrooms, and for an ample supply of soap. Any donations should be sent to Parantis (c8y) directly.
In the window she sat weeping, With each tear her life went seeping...
Mining sure is hazardous. Be sure to keep a humongous amount of additional workers to make up for those who are killed in accidents.
The time has come, Fate draws near, The AOO has much to fear. The peasants arise from their repressed state To give their opressures their just fate. Run away, run away, run away now, For the AOO is our Fatted cow.
Hey Pel! Not this turn! Maybe next turn!
Ossicus - Non-Virgin Territory for Whorehouses The Madam has opened shop!! Innkeeper found!! Wanted: Dancers and other Entertainers for newly constructed Inn Opening Soon deep in the Jungle!
I'd rather marry Oleg than pay AOO taxes!
Now that our factions are established on East Camaris, we will start releasing map data. You can check for yourself if you are interested, but we can tell you in advance that there were few lairs on East Camaris, and that there are now even fewer that have not been already defeated and their treasures claimed.
Who is this Emporer who owns all the forest? Why is there no ID number for him?
The clouds of war loom once again over the dark woods.
* Market Survey: I am interested in the further profits of bounty hunting. Serious reward offers considered. Satisfactory payment procedures required. Please submit "serious offers". Killing off the AOO Castle Boss "Marat" for only 1000 gold is not serious. An OLD Book that teaches a magic skill, some Mithril, and some gold is getting warm. Easier targets will command a smaller fee. I will contact you directly if I am willing to pursue your target. I am currently on an assignment for around another 3 turns. * Low Profile Bounty Hunters
Anyone willing to post a quick primer of which castles belong to which alliances? Please?
Little Red Riding Hood Beware the big bad Marat! Ah-OOh!!
I've missed the ship, Oh well at least I can't become seasick this turn.......see you soon...
Has it really been a year already? Seems like only weeks ago that we gathered to celebrate the return of dear Miyuki to the Olympian social scene. And now the Imperial City Chapter of The Olympian Order of Miyuki Fans (OOMF) is once again pleased to announce...
The 2nd Annual MIYUKI-O-RAMA-THON!
Join us in another Naughty Night of Frisky Fun and Frantic Frolic!
Yes of course there'll be TONS! of:
Fun! Food! Prizes! Booze! Sex! Drugs! Rock! Roll! And More!
But get ready to strap yourselves in kids because this year, in addition to that extra supply of chickens and assorted small fuzzy critters we promised, we've acquired the entire month's supply of
East Ossican M I Y U K I A !
Whoa! The good stuff!
Rip your clothes off and run wild thru the streets while ingesting mass quantities of this powerful mind-bending, soul-stealing, psycho-sexual miracle!
But wait, there's more!
Building on last years theme of debauchery and debasement, this years festivities will center around a masked ball (we hope!) with young republicans on spring break from Miyuki U. dressing up as your favorite characters from last years Olympia Times!
You'll see Kovaq'nu, the Duke, the Sheriff, Oleg, and a certain way-out-West canine doing it doggie style to and with whoever and whatever stands in his way!
And to ensure that this years festivities are even more mindlessly destructive than last years, we've arranged for a special way cool oh-my-god-I-must-be-dreamin guest appearance by none other than... well you'll just have to be there to see for yourself won't you!
So Come one! Come all! Come as you are! No reservations necessary! Don't miss THE coolest monster blowout extravaganza of the year!!!