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   | The Olympia Times                                      times@pbm.com |
   | August 3, 1994                                            issue g1-6 |
   |                                                                      |
   | turn 6  118 players                             "Oly oly oxen free." |

Questions, comments, to play: info@pbm.com

Olympia PBEM

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In our early youth we sit before the life that lies ahead of us like children sitting before the curtain in a theater, in happy and tense anticipation of whatever is going to appear. Luckily we do not know what really will appear. For to him who does know, children can sometimes seem like innocent delinquents, sentenced not to death but to life, who have not yet discovered what their punishment will consist of. Nonetheless, everyone desires to achieve old age, that is to say a condition in which one can say: 'Today it is bad, and day by day it will get worse -- until at least the worst of all arrives.'

-- Schopenhauer

* * *

Remember that players can obtain an up-to-date player list from the order scanner by sending a mesage of the form:

begin players end

Player-contributed press

A Caution to the Ancient Order of Olympians ===========================================

It has come to our attention that two of your member factions, namely [qy6] Servants of the Art and [bh0] The Skaithian Consortium, have initiated a series of unprovoked attacks to the northeast of Imperial City. We demand that your Order clarify its position on these attacks. Failure to take action and publicly post the position of the Ancient Order of Olympians on these matters within one week will result in a public dis- closure of your full membership roster as well as a punitive action on the AOO and its holdings in and around Mt. Olympia.

The Council of the Eumenides

NOTE: All other factions are encouraged to attack the following two factions on sight:

[qy6] Servants of the Art [x9i] Bastrestric the Arc [w2f] Decessim [y6s] Ergonal [g3y] Marat [j7t] Trogenius [x7v] Zeegan

[bh0] The Skaithian Consortium [n2v] Artur [z6p] Talia [t6x] Terminus

The Temple on the Mountain is now open for business! If you have need of a little priestly help, send mail to w4t@g1.pbm.com. Best rates! In fact, I think we have the ONLY rates. So, if you need a priest, think about TOM (Temple On the Mountain) and write us today! Domine, domine, domine.

The Olympia Atlas is accepting contributions, and is available for download!

In the tradition of Oleg's Map (tm), the Atlas will be a compilation of geographical information useful for explorers, traders, and adventurers. Best of all, it's absolutely free!

To contribute to the Atlas, simply send turn excerpts (cut out all the incriminating parts) that contain the following information:

o) Mapping data (region & route info) o) City market reports o) City skills lists o) Inner locations

and send it to sx6@g1.pbm.com. We'll include it into the next version of the Atlas.

The Atlas is available by ftp on ftp.cp.tn.tudelft.nl, in the directory /pub/pbm/olympia, as atlas.X.

The Atlas is also available on the PBMGames forum on CompuServe, in the fantasy games section, as atlsXX.oly.

In both cases, X (or XX) is the turn of the last update.

Brought to you by the Skulking Vermin (sx6)

Kerin the Black [g0b] sends greetings to all!

I am looking to join up with one of the alliances in Olympia, but I don't know anything about them. Please send me info by that mystical courier Emayle.

Me frinds,

I be interested in a lernin' some a da finer skills o' life. If ya knows where I kin lern da skill ta sneak 'round and such or iffin ya knows wheres I kin lern Necromancy. Leave yer message with the one toothed wench at: anon0293@nyx.cs.du.edu

Much Tanks a bunch. I'll owe ya a drink I guess. That is once I knock some guy in da head 'n get sum money.

Interesting Figures:

Assume an unhanced Noble (80,80,0) and an unenhanced monster from the rulebook going mano-a-mano.

% to hit = 80 / (80 + defense) % to be hit = attack / (attack + 80)

----- Ratings ------ % to % to be hit Opponent Attack Defense Missle Hit Combat Missle ------------- ------ ------- ------ ------ ------ ----- Noble 80 80 0 50.00 50.00 0.00 Peasant 1 1 0 98.77 1.23 0.00 Worker 1 1 0 98.77 1.23 0.00 Soldier 5 5 0 94.12 5.88 0.00 Archer 5 5 50 94.12 5.88 38.46 Knight 45 45 0 64.00 36.00 0.00 Elite Guard 90 90 0 47.06 52.94 0.00 Pikeman 5 30 0 72.73 5.88 0.00 Sailor 1 1 0 98.77 1.23 0.00 Swordsman 15 15 0 84.21 15.79 0.00 Xbowman 1 1 25 98.77 1.23 23.81 Elite Archer 10 10 75 88.89 11.11 48.39 Elf 50 50 100 61.54 38.46 55.56 Spirit 50 50 0 61.54 38.46 0.00 *** Undead 1 1 0 98.77 1.23 0.00 Savage 1 1 0 98.77 1.23 0.00 Skeleton 5 5 0 94.12 5.88 0.00 Barbarian 2 1 0 98.77 2.44 0.00 Nazgul 80 80 0 50.00 50.00 0.00 *** Ratspider 5 5 0 94.12 5.88 0.00 Centaur 30 30 0 72.73 27.27 0.00 Minotaur 30 5 0 94.12 27.27 0.00 G. Spider 150 100 0 44.44 65.22 0.00 *** Rat 3 3 0 96.39 3.61 0.00 Lion 100 100 0 44.44 55.56 0.00 G. Bird 200 150 0 34.78 71.43 0.00 G. Lizard 30 30 0 72.73 27.27 0.00 Bandit 3 3 0 96.39 3.61 0.00 Chimera 130 130 0 38.10 61.90 0.00 Harpie 80 120 0 40.00 50.00 0.00 Dragon 500 500 0 13.79 86.21 0.00 Orc 20 15 0 84.21 20.00 0.00 Gorgon 10 20 0 80.00 11.11 0.00 Wolf 5 5 0 94.12 5.88 0.00 Cyclops 25 75 0 51.61 23.81 0.00 Giant 75 25 0 76.19 48.39 0.00 Faery 1 1 0 98.77 1.23 0.00

*** What do you want to bet that a hit by one of these is more than just a normal wound ?

Of course with the vagaries of combat, there is much more than these simple figures, but it can give an idea about just how dangerous any one monster is.

Edmond Blackadder [s4b] Banner: Or, Adder Flaccid Sable

Any and all groups heading Westward are encouraged to contact me, to help coordinate peaceful cooperation or at least divergence so we don't step on each other's toes... You can email to me at: Lenat@mcc.com

A letter to the Editor:

My Lord Editor:

Me bins talkin to many of the towns folk, and we's bin-a-thinkin dat-ah, well, we kinds sorta been-ah hopin that ya, well woulda be of the mind, or so takin a notion to repoganize the times a wee wittle bit.

Wesa thinks ita be nice to see real news in the front of the times, followed by any mercantile noble folks peddling their wares or folks making requests, leaving the narratives and other drivel toward the end-o-da times.

Wesa dont mean the times ain't a most honorable publication. It is most certainly. Heck some of us cain't even reed well or atall. Wesa just makin a wittle suggestion my lord.

May Atnerks grant you a harem of the finest of your desires, my lord.

the peasants of Olympia.

It is easy for those who hide behind a veil of anonymity to scoff and make threatening sounds. Let those who would oppose me come forth into the light and show themselves. All others will be ignored.

Taira Yoshinawa "The Watched"

OP News - Mount Olympus - Buildings built on Olympus. Local residents report construction on Mt. Olympus. A tower has sprung up 'over-night' and a castle is under construction. Watchers from the Imperial City are concerned that these structures may be intended to control the route to the Cloudlands. However, Chief Engineer Rizo of the Imperial City was quoted as saying, "It will take them over a year to complete a castle on Olympus unless they are importing stone from other regions." Even so, local residents are worried these structures will provide conflict, not protection, to Mt. Olympus.

Warning: the Imperial Astrological Society warns that although many people believe the world is cylindrical, it is actually flat. This flat disk lies on the backs of four huge elephants, who in turn stand on the shell of an even larger tortoise, which is swimming through the stars. Anyone attempting to sail from Provinia is most likely sail off the edge of the world. Therefore the society strongly recommends you return to your homes and tend to your pot making. Thank you.

Sailing, sailing, over the Athnos Way Don't know where we're going, really not so gay!! Problems with this cruising, maps are not so good, A rock, a shoal, a little, little bitty ship of hoods! Where we bound we not admit, secrets will not perish A land so lush, so bountiful, a place to surely cherish! And when you see our flag again, a thing of darkly terror Run, run, the other way, or be in deathly error!!

The Raptor ----------------------------------------------- Second mate to Third mate as First mate finishes song: "Chuckmate!!"

From the Normandy Faction:

These are perilous times, what with monsters prowling the wilderness and nobles turning into bandits and murderers. I urge all nobles to defend themselves by learning archery, by moving in banfds, and by reporting all attacks by other nobles here in the Times, so we can know who the villains are and take steps.

WHAT A MENAGERIE!!! Here we was, wandering the Channel Mountains, when suddenly we are surrounded!! There was nasties everywhere!!! Orcs glaring at us dully, while their wolf companions growled at us. Rats of a very disturbing nature threatening to gnaw on us. And finally some of those damn wild men were a chanting and a yelling. We were meat, toast, and generally in a very bad position. Then we noticed that the buggers were all guarding against each other too!! No one could attack without exposing their flanks to another group. Thus noticing that, we made our exit post haste.


What hangs out in Provinia and Atnos, is overly aggressive, now burned to a crisp, and soon to be extremely sorry?

The Answer next issue!!!

"AOO! Werewolves of OLY..." Nice doggie! (while picking up large rocks)

Bligh stopped in the middle of the road, in the midst of the vast expanse of the Royal hunting plains. Following his bungled start at seamanship, he had planned to move to Aethelarn and take up Beastmastery. Now, though, he doubted the wisdom of that move. Inexperienced as he was, the sea life was all he knew.

As he huddled at the roadside, he watched the other proud nobles strutting by, with their seeming hordes of peasants and workers. Here and there, some of his peers had personal bodyguards composed of soldiers and even pikemen. He turned and squinted into the sun, peering at the two brothers who had answered his call for recruiting. Solid stock, if not the quickest lads about, he thought. His mind drifted, thinking of peasants, and he recalled rumors he had heard of nobles who had dozens, if not hundreds of peasants on isles to the south, and who wished to bring their peasants to Provinia.

"That's it!" he cried. "I'll start my business as a ferryman. I won't have to get too far from port to start, and if that doesn't play out, I can always sail off to explore the world." He roused his rag-tag companions, and they began to retrace their steps back towards the Imperial City.

Oleg the Pleasant's Lore Archive remains open for business!

Oleg's Lore Archive is now available at your favorite Olympia ftp site. Be the first noble on your block to retrieve a copy. Coming soon: differences between the alpha and final lore.

-- Oleg the Pleasant [b2q]

Swamp Daze

What, 'ho? This oozing, festering pit of a hole reminds me of you. Always clinging, sticky and smelling of rotten fish. It's enough to put a man off women, 'tis what it is. Why I ever snuck you aboard this ship-- may one of the more philandering gods be my witness-- I'll never know. What, 'ho? You say the beerswilling captain is a better lover than I? Sigh. Go to him, then, you wreckage, you crusty, barnacled faced, sweaty, gooey, thick, musty-- SWAMP.

WEST CAMARIS COMPANY SPOKESMEN GIVE PRESS CONFERENCE: The West Camaris company held another press conference today, in order to announce further delays in their expeditionary timetable. Company spokesmen blamed the current delays on a rescue attempt, but details were sketchy.

"We know they decided to stop on a small island to rescue someone. Who that someone is, and what the result of the rescue attempt was, are unknown details at this time." "We realize that this delay may adversely effect our share price, but The West Camaris Company feels that there are things that are more important than money, and this is one of them."

OLYMPIA TIMES FINANCIAL ANALYSIS: Assuming this information to be true, and not a cover for some other, serious problem, we feel that this should not effect their share price in any way. The market is holding steady, with the stock price down only 1/4.

After months of study and research, she had finally found a way down into the depths of Hades. Now all that was needed was to regain her courage and banish from her mind all the tales she'd heard of the fearsome demons that inhabitated the nether world. Tales of the undead wandering around freely accompanied by demons of fearsome dimensions. Now she would be the first to visit Hades. As she descended into the depths, she heard trapped spirits calling her name, warning her not to enter. It's darker than Morodor down here, she thought, as fumbling with hands hidden by the dark she tried to light her torch. Let's see now, no paths to anywhere, and no monsters either, maybe it's my lucky day. As she started her exploration, she suddenly heard a noise from below, and turning saw four giant AAAAAIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE......................

Ralph was really getting tired of all this. Wood, wood, wood! You'd think the guys in charge were trying to clear-cut the whole forest! Ralph had heard rumors of fighting in the North. He resolved that if the "master" missed the payroll again this month, he was going to slip away in the night like the other men had done. "If they ain't gonna pay me, I ain't gonna fight!"

Attention All Olympians!

The Supreme Tyrannical Union of Pugilistic Engimas hereby claims absolute and total domination everlasting of all even-numbered provinces. That's right, folks, vertical stripes is what we're all about. Ours is a LEAN AND MEAN kingdom! All non-Enigmas will promptly vacate all even-numbered provinces by turn 7. Entry into even-numbered provinces after this time is expressly forbidden. It is true that our just and righteous claims present certain obstacles to lateral travel. But in our Supreme mercy and wisdom, we have made the "aa" and "zz" provinces available as highways for lateral-travelers. So all peace-loving Olympians may transgress our world trouble free! Just make for your nearest "aa"/"zz" province! ...Second thoughts have suggested to the Supreme Enigmas that the "aa"/"zz" highways might be a trifle inconvenient... So in our further mercy and providence we are providing additional highway provinces. Henceforth, all provinces...that represent a factorable polynomial...of the Mandlebrot set, when the province ID is multiplied by...by the IDs of the provinces...to the northwest and southeast... evenly divisable by two or more...wait...yes, two or more of the integer components of the factorial of the province's number...uh... when divided...uh...never mind! Ask no more of the extra highway provinces! Do you dare to question us? Do you wish to arouse the wrath of Supreme Tyranny? Be thankful that we have provided any means of lateral travel at all! And for now, you all just stay out of those other provinces I almost mentioned! Failure to respect our territorial rights shall result in immediate destruction and humiliation of trespassers! Yes! Our nobles are already in place in all even-numbered provinces! And hidden! And we've declared you all HOSTILE! Moreover, we have mastered the "Invoke delusion" subskill of Magic. So you say you haven't gotten around to research yet, huh? Well the Supremes have! And now it's too late! This nefarious subskill invokes massive mind-screwing delusions on its targets! And we know it works! We've tested it on ourselves! *yawn* Oh ...excuse me... Yes, this subskill will cause you to receive turn reports as if you were alive even after all your nobles are slain! So if you violate our territory, we shall crush you and delude you and you shall live an afterlife that is a perpetual lie! And you will never ever know! Ha! The Ultimate Indignity! No, the SUPREME Indignity! No, the SUPREME TYRANNICAL Indignity of the Enigmas! The PUGILISTIC Enigmas! Ha! HAHA! BUAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA...

Journal Entry - 6/04/01

We are nearing the end of the third month of our voyage, and the end is not yet in sight. The navigator expects that we will find a landing point by the end of the year. I certainly hope so; the seafaring life is rather dull, and the voyage has been long.

The ocean is not quite as blank as the maps which we received seemed to indicate - several small islands have been spotted by the lookout or the trained birds. If we happen upon another isle at an opportune time, I would welcome the chance to depart our vessel for a short while. We would likely have to fight the denizens of the isle, as most of the shores have shown signs of occupation by dark creatures or violent men. I believe that our group would welcome such a combat; I know that I would.

I look forward to the times that lie ahead, even knowing that there will be violence, pain, and even death. It can not be worse than the gnawing boredom which we suffer now. Indeed, I am afraid that we will begin fighting amongst ourselves if something does not happen soon. We require a more suitable locale to research the more advanced areas of skill, and the pracice of swordplay and archery is quickly growing dull. I do hope that we can overcome this soon. The Hand aches for action.

The attack had come without warning. A pair of bandits caling themselves Terminus and Talia had struck from a mountain pass with a horde of untrained peasants and a squad of crossbowmen firing from behind the line of peasants. Arcades Sabboth and Jedit Ojanen had been caught off-guard, and the rout was a predictable as it was deadly. The Kobolds and Goblin Raiders hadn't stood a chance, although they took some peasants with them. And they had captured Jedit, overwhelming the bold tiger-man and carrying him off for purposes unknown. Then, to compound injury to injury, after Arcades had fled to the relative safety of a city, the fiends had attacked again! The few remaining Kobolds had been slaughtered, and Arcades had only managed to slay one peasant as he fled to the mountains. Arcades could see no rhyme nor reason in this brigand's plunder. He had nothing more than most of the other adventurers starting out in this area. He had had no chance to offend anyone, and he knew next to nothing about this world, so he was useless as a source of information. Furthermore, a note that had arrived early in the month from the Companions of Caerleon had indicated that the bandits seemed to be attacking indiscriminately. The note had, alas, arrived too late to be of any use in repelling the bandits, as they had attacked without warning on the first of the month. It seemed, then, that these scoundrels had no motive other than the joy they took in the suffering of their fellow adventurers. Still, Arcades brooded as he perched on the crag, the motive was irrelevant at this point. What mattered now was survival, and possibly revenge. How much easier it would be if he had retained his old body - but instead he had been forced into a smaller, humanoid draconic body by the transfer from the realms of Domina to the realms of Olympia. Still, he was not without resources. Arcades pulled a card from his deck and smiled grimly. There would be time enough for expansion later. What mattered now was survival.

The old geographer watched the single roundship that still paralleled their course. Less chance of piracy, he supposed, but it would have been better still if he was sure that only their two ships were still headed to Krussos. He was fairly sure that several other ships were also still headed in the same direction, just sailing closer to the coast. Maybe they should continue on into the unexplored lands. Mapping new lands in person - the thought warmed his old blood!

The approach of his Mage interrupted his speculations. "How much have you earned for us this month?" he asked. When the Mage replied nothing, that he could not ply his trade at sea, the Geographer Emeritus lost his temper. "What do you mean? Why not? People still need common magic performed on shipboard - maybe even more than on shore. They have nowhere else to turn. Why can you earn in a sparsely settled wilderness, and not on a crowded ship!" The Mage shrugged.

********************************************** ************ NEWS FLASH NEWS FLASH ***********

******** Yet More Attacks by Brigands ********

*********** Emperor still Inactive ***********

DateLine: Emperor's Forest

Yet again, peaceful members of society have been assailed in the Emperor's Forest. The robbing and mugging has spilled over into the city of Newleaf. While the city's residents seem to have escaped unscaithed, not so the Nobles walking the street.

And our glorious Emperor has yet to act. Rumors have been flying that vigilante groups are being formed, to patrol the land, and bring peace once again. But shouldn't the troops of the Emperor being doing this?

Will the fighting ever stop? Will things ever be peaceful and quiet again?

It all happened so fast, it is hard to remember what occurred. I was wandering the wilderness with my five soldiers as bodyguards, looking for koald berries. They are they most delicious berries in all Olympia. Then, from nowhere, came the bandits. There were only five of them, but they were on us so fast, that two soldiers were killed immediately. The rest was all a blur. All I remember is at the end. I was standing there strangling the life from the last bandit, with dead bodies all around. All of my soldiers gone, and I just saw some rodents of unusual size. You know the funny thing, they had more gold than me.

The Olympia Times reporter hovered around the party of adventurers. "Do you have anything to say about the castle on Mt. Olympus, sir?" The head adventurer replied, "No comment, I told you, no comment!" But then the reporter pulled out his bag of 25 gold; few Olympians had been known to resist. "Do you have any comment now?" The leader eyed the bag, and then grabbed it. "Ok, Ok. It's an eyesore."

"Wake up, Morthain, we've found a port!"

The scruffy looking passenger wiped his bleary eyes and lumbered toward the deck.

"By the Wanderer, the entire city is pure white! Even the ground!"

As the small ship sailed into the deep harbor, eager longshoremen came forward to help unload the cargo. They were sadly disappointed when only a few men stepped off the boat.

"No cargo today, unless I can interest you in some rose perfume, perhaps?"

The longshoremen walked away, grumbling.

Morthain looked closely at the buildings, which appeared to be made of pure salt. He wandered the city for a while, even selling a few of the love potions he had made from the rose perfume. It seemed the salty environs had shriveled some of the ardor of the city. He considered buying some of the fine horses they had for sale, but decided against it. No room on the boat.

Morthain sent out seekers, both magical and mundane, as he had been taught by the old man. But Carellin had not been here. His destiny was elsewhere. When he boarded the boat again, wiping the salt from his boots, he knew that his wanderings were far from over.

Water, water, everywhere. Squinting against the endless glare reflected from the curling wavetops, listening to the slap of canvas and the creak of the timbers, time seems to pass endlessly. Perhaps on the lee side the sails will provide some shade. In these tropical latitudes, the water is so clear, it looks like you could reach out and touch the bottom. Swirls of coral, almost like a castle, wait, are those figures moving down there? You've got to know,

move out hold nose move down


Emily Latella: What is all this ruckus about "gay pots", anyway? I think what two pots do in the privacy of their own home is their own business! And you ask an awful lot of questions for somebody from New Jersey, Mr. Feder!

Announcer: That's "CLAY pots", Miss Latella, not "GAY pots."

Emily: Oh. Never Mind.

Overheard by a beastmaster in the Emperor's Forest [by25], translated from the Rattongue...

"So, now dat we got 'im, whadda we do wid 'im?"

"He's a noble. Gotta be good fer sumpin'."

"We could git a ransom..."

"Naw. Who'd pay fer dis sorry muck?"

Long silence.

"If 'e's a noble, maybe we cud teach him somethin' useful?"

"I dunno. He looks kinda dumb..."

"Maybe he could learn some tricks? Fetch, sit-up, play dead?"

"Seems ta me, we got's a bum deal here. What's a Merlin, anyways?"

Long silence.

"Whud are we gonna do about supper..."

Unfortunately, the beastmaster was distracted by a wandering dryad, and so missed the rest of the conversation...

CORRECTION ----------

The report about dragon sightings in last months Times had a slight error. The animals sighted were rats. They were thought to be dragons because of their size, smell and breath.

MASSIVE MIGRATION TO CHANNEL MOUNTAINS IN PROGRESS ==================================================

Many nobles and their heavily armed retainers have been sighted heading towards the Channel Mountains. The reason for this migration is unclear, but mutterings about "dragon's gold" and "easy pickings" have been overheard.

I'll never understand nobles: In my grampa's time it was dashing around covered in metal bashing each other, rescuing dragons and tying-up maidens.

In my pa's time it was all arts and crafts, dashing around in handwoven natural fibers selling clay pots to the unwary & unwise.

Now, just as you'd expect some more good old-fashioned chivalry and violence, they're standing around on street corners striking poses and telling tales ! And expecting to be paid for it !

Since when has anyone given money to nobles except at the end of a sword ? Come to think of it, that is the only way they'll get me to listen to any more of those stories.

Bogodon was ready to move, the ship was ready and the troops where in. But, the recent reports of damage to ships in coastal waters was worrying him. It wouldn't do to have a havily laden ship damaged. At least the carrier pidgeons where ready to enable him to keep up his part-time job as a reporter for that newspaper!

Q: How can you tell if a noble is from the Normandy faction?

A: He's either a basket-case or a pot-head.

Journal Entry, Thunder & Rain, Year 1 of the Relocation - Gonzo Greybeard

The battles rage. Men and nobles die. Greed kills on this vast world, just as it did on Earth. We had hopes of a new beginning, but it appears that it will be the same old story. Where we will settle is not yet determined, but we will attempt to make it secure and build strong alliances with those who feel as we do. Many factions have run low on funds and are paying their retainers fees from month to month. Looting is becoming more common with the results that trust is gone from many provinces. The wise leaders are seeking those locations where they can establish strong bases of operation. We have heard rumors of Elven weapons and factions gathering wild animals to fight for them. There is a rumor that an alliance is attempting to control access to the cloudlands, this will bring great strife to the land. We are marching to join some allies who are attempting to right a wrong. We will be victorious as right is on our side (along with a 5 or 6 to 1 advantage). Perhaps there will be more of interest to write later.

Ahh, to see the sea once more.

Leaving the port city of Faelgrar far behind, Wanderer gave his steed it's head. A little running would do it some good after an easy month. But now, now there was time for a real adventure. Down to the southern deserts he would go.

In the last five cities he's visited, he had been the first imperial they had seen. Heading south to Dark Pirn he hoped to spread the imperial word there too, but by his estimate it would be more than a months travel, even on Zephyr.

Diary: Day 17, Thunder and Rain

Who's bright idea was it to go to sea anyway? 27 nobles in one boat all puking their guts out! Landfall in Torba Bacor won't come a day too soon. And I will never, never, NEVER put to sea again!

!! PLAGUE !!

The Chief Medical Officer of the Emperor yesterday announced a series of measures to stem the spread of "Sheep Dip". The disease, which was until recently confined to sheep has crossed the species boundary, and is now spreading unchecked amongst "liberal" nobles. The first reported cases of the disease occurred in some Mongols fresh from the flock. Nobles are encouraged to return to their arts and crafts workshops as a means of amusing themselves. Peasants are advised not to look sheepish under any conditions.