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   | The Olympia Times                                        issue g1-72 |
   | November 8, 1995                                                     |
   |                                                                      |
   | turn 72  159 players                   http://www.pbm.com/oly/times/ |

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Olympia PBEM

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Player-contributed press

TOURNAMENT There is an island just off the coast of the Imperial City in bz22, which used to have Cyclops on it. Does anyone know if the Cyclops have been removed? This might make a good spot for the tournament.

-- The day of Rest [ju3]

---------------------- S. CAMARIS Update ----------------------

Monthly notice: any new visitors to our fair isle should notify us in advance.

-- The Crazy Quilters [vn7]

Customer Testamonial on behalf of the First Bank of Provinia

Greetings, Provinians! My name's Jech Ercheflo the Friendly Thin Guy. I'm a Trader. I travel Provinia buying and selling and trading everything from the highest grade avinia leaf to the cheap woven baskets that I buy off of broke lowlifes in Imperial City. Now as you might imagine, with half-breeds like Swishbuckler runnin' 'round, Provinia is not always as friendly and peaceful as me. So I don't like carryin' large amounts of cash on a trade run, if ya know what I mean. That's why I bank at First Provinia. Think about it: low-interest loans, high interest rates, newbie bonuses, warehouse facilities, shipping services...

So take it from me, Jech Ercheflo the Friendly Thin Guy, don't wind up lying in the gutters of Imperial City weaving baskets for a livin'. Give the the First Bank of Provinia a call. You'll be glad you did.

-- Jech Ercheflo the Friendly Thin Guy [h3f]

Last turn a noble of mine was attacked without provocation in West Camaris. His attackers were:

1: ANM Dead Meat [ge8j], savage, with four riding horses, three dragons, 1: accompanied by: 1: ANM Dead Meat [ek1a], skeleton, behind 1, with two dragons, 1: three riding horses 1: ANM Dead Meat [jn0g], skeleton, behind 1, with two dragons, 1: three riding horses

These folk would seem to be a part of the force BtA sent against the ANM on turn 68. I am not a member of the ANM. I have never presented a threat to the AOO. Now they are marauding around attacking innocent bystanders. More evidence that the AOO is dangerous to everyone, not just those that stand against them.

-- Arlon Greyfletch [s7r]

Arrrr, who be this Swishbuckler? Doesn't he know I'm duke of the sea?!


-- Captain Trocero [l3c]

___ ___ ___ / / ) / ) /___ /___/ /___/ / . _ _ /_ / )_ __ / / _ _ . __ . _ / / / _> / /___/(_>/ //< of / / (_)|// / // (_>

The First Bank of Provinia has offices in some of the major cities on the continent of Provinia. The FBoP offers the following facilities.

o Special offers for New Olympia Players. o Excellent Interest Rates on Bank Accounts. o A Fast and Efficient Courier Service. o Money Transfers. o Short and Long Term Loans. o Insurance Policies. o Pawn Broking Service.

Call in at your local branch for further details.

The customers of the FBoP are recommending the services of the Bank. If you want to find out just how good we are, talk to them. Our customers can say more about just how good we are than we can!

-- First Bank of Provinia [v0z]

To the lord of Bartear [q9d] - I sent mail to q9d@g1.pbm.com to ask you to explain his presence in my territory, but there was no response. Contact cuccaro@super.org to straighten things out.

-- Farley [n0e]


When is Olympia game 2 going to start?

"Ching! Ching!"

To rumor longer is mete wind, wouldn't you slay?

Tant va la cruche a l'eau qu'a la fin elle se casse.

Swishbuckler really does play below the belt.

Who thinks some of these guys with huge numbers of characters cheated?

> Need 25 gold for research into the latest super-duper killer spell: > AuraBlast 95! (Brought to you by the fine people at Microsoft)

Tried it - got some kind of virus.

Apples fill the trees....

Beware, beware, beware the non-numerical numbering system!

I must say, Swishbuckler does have a way with words. I found his discourse in last week's times most entertaining.

Someone asked: >> Put up protection from a scry. >Does this help against receive visions from priests?


Someone Else asked: >Why is it that whenever I want to trade, I'm on Tollus and my >customer is at the IC?

It's probably an AOO plot. Everything bad usually is.

-- The Answer Guy

Submitted for your enjoyment (vision taken turn 71): {editorial comments in {}'s} 26: Some Character [x9i] receives a vision of Swishbuckler [w0p]: 26: 26: Location: The Gay Terror [ga4u], in Ocean [ch20], in Atnos Sea 26: Loyalty: Oath-1 26: Stacked over: First Mate [w8l] ^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^ {This is no suprise!} 26: Health: 100% 26: Combat: attack 85, defense 80, missile 50 26: behind 0 (front line in combat) 26: Break point: 0% (fight to the death) 26: Banner: Back from the dead (again) 26: Prisoners: Tracey [s2u], health 44 26: Portnar [k1j], health 100 26: Darynir [b1e], health 14 26: 26: Declared attitudes: 26: hostile b1e k1j s2u gs1i 26: neutral f8f i0x i8x k4v l9o m7n p8j r5o v1c x7f z2b 26: gc5f 26: 26: Skills known: 26: Shipcraft [120] 26: Sailing [9502], grand master 26: Combat [121] 26: Fight to the death [9505] 26: Archery [9579], apprentice 26: Swordplay [9580], adept 26: Beastmastery [123] 26: Use beasts in battle [9507] 26: Breed beasts [9508], master 26: Persuasion [124] 26: Forestry [128] 26: Harvest lumber [9568], apprentice 26: 26: Partially known skills: 26: Capture beasts in battle [9506], 11.28/21 26: 26: Inventory: 26: qty name weight 26: --- ---- ------ 26: 14,015 gold [1] 0 26: 4 sailors [19] 400 cap 400 (1,1,0) {methinks he'll be sailing a tad slow} 26: 4 wild horses [51] 1,200 26: 3 riding horses [52] 900 ride 450 26: 5 longbows [72] 15 26: 15 pikes [75] 75 26: 1 ox [76] 1,000 cap 1,500 26: 3 woven baskets [94] 3 26: 27 dragons [286] 2,700 (500,500,0) 26: 1 Strange potion [bb3i] 1 26: 1 Magic potion [bf4f] 1 26: 1 Magic potion [bo5y] 1 26: 1 Strange potion [df4z] 1 26: 1 enchanted helm [dk5w] 10 +5 defense 26: ====== 26: 6,307 26: 26: Capacity: 107/2,450 land (4%), 607/450 ride (134%) 26:

I hope someone can make good use of this.

Caution -- Cowabunga Zone

I heard that the Clan With No Name got their butt kicked by the Swisher.

My, my isn't the Swishbuckler a big, bad animal! Oh, what a big brute he appears to be. I do hope he knows how to swim when his ship and pitiful assortment of critters is burned from under him. Perhaps someone will help him with a Cure Rash spell when his leather codpiece chafes his "hairy butt" as he swims to shore! I'll bet he does the butterfly stroke. Of course, without his "able and willing crew," maybe he will be lonely and need to learn some other, more self-satisfying strokes!

I can't think of anything cool to say!

---> SWISHBUCKLER and the COHORTS OF COLOSSUS <--- __________________________________________________ Any steadfast doubters out there who still won't believe Swish belongs to the Cohorts now have ABSOLUTE PROOF, or the closest thing anyway, short of a 'Determine character's lord' action. I refer you to Swish's own sordid self-celebration just last week.

>the lock on my cell with the bones. I bent Miyuki over a couch before >Kovaq'nu learned to spell, wiped a booger on BtA's auraculum and made >Atnerks wear a dress.

Two points here: first, what player anywhere, outside of the AOO, would say such a thing about BtA, ESPECIALLY with a prominent noble hanging right on the Imperial doorstep? We've all seen how BtA reacts to public abuse.. I think we can safely say we're dealing with an AOO member here. Second point: isn't it curious that the Sheriff Pelenth of Gentlewind didn't post his regular notice last month?

Just when you thought that MAFOC was down and out they decide that it is time for a reunion; the nerve. Time to start sending a few spies to check things out. One can never be too cautious.. ----An insider [i0u]

> Why is it that whenever I want to trade, I'm on Tollus and my > customer is at the IC?

Maybe it's your planning skills?

Obscure peoples and ways of Olympia.


Mention kolbolds and most nobles get a puzzled look on their face. Few nobles even know kolbolds exist and even fewer have ever seen one. But for thousands of years the kolbolds were one of the most active of warrior races. They would wage long wars over the most minor of offenses. One kolbold king ordered the tide to stay out and when the tide "refused" he ordered his army to attack the ocean and force it back. For 5 years the tide and the army were locked in a seesaw battle. The army would win for 6 hours then loose for 6 hours. But being such a rash race had a price in natural selection. This pressure in 2 directions has resulted in the kolbolds becoming one of Olympia best fighters and a natural born draft dodger. One mention in a province of raising an army and all that can be seen of the kolbolds is their receding backsides many leagues away. Given humans present interests it is no wonder that few nobles have ever seen a kolbold.

" has anyone else seen the large ship sprouting dragons, in the Atnos channel"

"They're dropping like flies, Master!"

"Yes Igor, my cunning rumors about G2 will insure that soon I alone will rule Olympia. It shall all be mine!"

"Drum roll please"

The hermit to the sage: Doh! We lost a noble! The sage to the hermit: Are you an philospher? The hermit to the sage: Huh?

Does Aura Blast only work against mages?

How come flying stacks can be attacked by stacks on the ground?

Dragons weigh the same as a person?!?

The old archmage surveys the world. He never travelled more than a province in his life, and no further than that afterwards. And yet, he can see far and remember further.

He can remember the little school in the Imperial City were first he learned. How small his skill, how monstrous his ambition, how foolish he was when young. The tower he built when he was but a conjurer. The little valley in the mountains were he used to rest. Where a brutish peasant shattered his skull. The terror as he died.

Most of all he remembered the anger of his rebirth and how it had eaten whatever else once made him. The hate which fueled days and nights of study back in his tower interrupted only by the regular spectacle noble and numskulled knights charging and dying at the walls. The joy of what he discovered. Secrets which remained unknown even to his few friends for many years. Then the creation of the first, the best, the most beautiful. The exhileration as power greater than any ever known to mortal man flowed into him.

And then the hunting began. He hunted for hate. The brutish peasant had not survived him by many hours and none had bothered to bring him back. But the one who had commanded him had lived. And died. The adept who had given the ultimate command died. A little traitor died. The hunt out of political necessity. And many more died by his hand and his mind. Then he hunted for joy and cities were bathed in blood. Finally he had hunted out of boredom.

But now none remain who can resist him -- and precious few who even begin to understand the full extent of the powers which now are his to command. He can barely remember the last one who even gave a good fight. This has grown tiresome. Time to pass on.