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   | The Olympia Times                                        issue g1-41 |
   | April 5, 1995                                                        |
   |                                                                      |
   | turn 41  196 players                                                 |

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Olympia PBEM

* * *

If in that Syrian garden, ages slain, You sleep, and know not you are dead in vain, Nor even in dreams behold how dark and bright Ascends in smoke and fire by day and night The hate you died to quench and could but fan, Sleep well and see no morning, son of man.

-- A.E. Housman

* * *

Player-contributed press

Because of fear of unrest and a large influx of immigrants to a continent with low resources, visitors to Eastern Drucartan are asked to procure a visa before entering the area. ( We define Eastern Drucartan as the area of Drucartan that is east of the Uldim Pass).

If you want a visa, please send a message to John Sen[m6f], describing the nobles in the party, the size of the party, and the reason for visiting Eastern Drucartan. There is no fee, and requests will only be refused in rare ( i.e. I am bringing 2000 men to kill all nobles ) circumstances.

-- The Sen Clan [di4]

An impressive army assembled. It was to be their first test in battle. They were excited, They were eager. It was a big day.

General Norc lined up the men, & recalled his studies of leadership, "The Art of War", by Oleg the Loudmouth. Unfortunately Norc's recall wasn't working too well that day.

His herald blew the horn, & Norc charged the all-peasant line of Selon! A crossbow slew an enemy peasant right away & Norc gave forth the cry he had memorized: "Run away! Run away!"

His allies were befuddled, but trusted their stack leader, & ran helter skelter into the woods. Selon stood baffled for a few minutes & then gathered his peasants together to hunt down his cowardly foes.

He met Norc's entourage hiding in the bushes & demanded surrender. Even without his allies, Norc's own troops were superior to Selon's in every way. But confusing the "surrender" section with the "slaughter your foes" section, he stood up & said, "I surrender! The field is yours!"

Norc's allies stood to the side, watching the amazing scene unfold, as their leader snatched defeat out of the jaws of victory. So shocked, in fact, they watched for an entire month.

The New Year dawned, & their wits cleared. Norc's allies took up the general's cause, & the soldiers lined up again. But they had not frittered away an entire month. They had re-read "The Art of War" & discovered that "run away!" was not the correct battle-cry to inspire the troops to fight to the death.

Their first act upon freeing General Norc, was to demote him in rank, many, many steps.

The moral of the story? 100% break point is not tough, 0% is. Make sure you read the rules carefully.

-- Circle of Hope [lp3]

Let it be known to the Olympian citizenry that the Disciples of the Wanderer and the Liberty Confederacy have negotiated a non-aggression pact. The Disciples of the Wanderer have agreed to leave Ossicus as soon as possible and never return. The opinion of the citizens of Olympia will be the guarantee of this pact.

-- The Disciples of the Wanderer [mc1]


VISIT THE ILLUSTRATED MAN'S IMPERIAL EMPORIUM!!! Free with every order: a bumper sticker saying "I visited the Illustrated Man!"

SALES: Next turn: Catapults for 90 gold! Pikes: 15 gold Crossbows: 15 gold Wild horses: 25 gold Longswords: 30 gold Longbows: 45 gold Warmounts: 80 gold Pots and Baskets: 1 gold apiece!

And of course, Maps!

What are these maps? They are drawn in 7 colors, with graphical symbols representing all kinds of terrain and internal locations. They are available by surface mail only, upon payment to the Illustrated Man (s5e) in the Imperial City, or the supplying of new terrain information. Just send me the info or payment and your surface mail address, and a map will go winging to you!

Prices: New customers -- 75 gold or 15 new provinces Repeat customers -- 35 gold or 10 new provinces Custom Sizing -- Add 100 gold to your order, and any two map squares. We will send you a map for the rectangle defined by those squares, in addition to the regular maps of Provinia and the world! Other special arrangements also available -- just ask.

This offer brought to you by...

The Midnight Carnival ___ ||||| /\ =====----`==== oo oo /\ /\

-- The Midnight Carnival [nx2]


Pirates: retire now! That is the message suggested by the flood of responses to the Anti-Piracy league, in offers of aid and financial assistance. The reward is now up to 700 gold, and several powerful factions have offered their aid in tracking down pirates. Note that, except in special cases of notorious characters, this offer only applies to acts of piracy committed from this month onward. Thus, if you are thinking about living off of others on the high seas, do it somewhere besides the Atnos Channel. We're going to have some LAW around these parts, one way or another! As before, I encourage honest and reputable nobles to join the league and match this reward offer. No money need change hands for now -- just announce in this space that you will add 500 or more to the reward pot, and that you are joining the Anti-piracy league. End floating scum!

-- The Midnight Carnival [nx2]

The swamps are proving to be uneventful. No hidden features, uninteresting cities, few monsters and no nobles. We will continue onward for now.

-- Seekers of Knowledge [tt4]

----------------------- CAMARIS Update -----------------------

Darkwood forest does indeed seem to rather empty!

-- Compte du S. Camaris [b4q]

-- The Crazy Quilters [vn7]

Visitors are welcome to the area controlled by the Cohorts of Colossus [vo4], as long as they obtain travel permits first. Not all requests will be granted. The affected area includes the land provinces bounded by bx25 and bz27.

To avoid possible misunderstandings, do not enter this area without a permit.

-- Sheriff Pelenth of Gentlewind [f3i]

Tangiers, on the Barbary Coast of Northern West Camaris, is open to visitors. Non-AOO ships and visitors bound for points further north are encouraged to visit the northernmost city yet garrisoned in all of Olympia. No exploration of the northern seas would be complete without a visit to the Barbary Coast. And any sharp traders from the south who are interested in Cardamom [106] should consider Tangiers.

-- Tibilt the Bold [e7r]

- gold gold - Play Platinum Jaks Lotto - gold gold -

A mere one gold buys a ticket and a chance in the best lottery in Olympia. Each measly thin gold could win you a fat thirty gold or even more. Tickets can be bought from Platinum Jak [n9x] in the Imperial City. Prizes will by awarded and the winners announced in the Times in the month of Blossom Bloom.

the small print Each ticket has a 1/32 chance of winning 30 gold. If no ticket wins one ticket will be drawn randomly to be a winner. As long as a ticket wins it has a 1/32 chance of winning again and doubling its payoff. Family, friends,and employes of Platinum Jak will not win. Nobles not in Imperial City at the start of Blossom Bloom will not win. offer void - where prohibited by law

-- Platinum Jak [n9x]

Journal - Dark night, Year 5

First Farseeker leaves his command to chase pirates. Jearom selflessly takes up the duties of Captain of the Ship, and has now let Farseeker back aboard.

Jearom still has not returned the Captain's position to Farseeker though. I will have to request that he do so. I continue to need him to direct our secruity operations.

The Lord of the Morning, The Dragon,

-- Lews Therin Telamon [m3m]


The Brotherhood of Ormos claims the city of Avalon [ao0k] and all lands and resources inside the boundary of [bp05]-[bp08]-[br06] -[br09] inclusive, as its sole and lawful demense. Those wishing to visit Ormos are required to request a visa and await clearance before attempting to make landfall. All unauthorized visitors are unwelcome and looked upon with extreme prejudice. Captains needing to make landfall at Avalon for emergency repairs will not be molested, but are still required to contact me for a visa.

-- Pelinore Dragonslayer [p4s]

WEATHER MAGIC now taught on Allasus! If travel to the Cloudlands is inconvenient, consider studying Weather Magic down under. As stated in a claim originally filed in this publication a few months back, Allasus is just south of West Ilion. For additional information, please contact Dega Spar directly.

-- Dega Spar [g4b]

This is monthly notice if you wish to visit the environs of Cycarth and Redwine please be courteous enough to let m9l know (you can reach him at heyman@camis.stanford.edu. I do not currently plan to restrict access, but would like to know who is wandering around in my front yard. I would especially like to know if you plan on using any of the natural rsources (peasants, wood, and the like) in the provinces bt25 bt26 bt27 bu25 bu26 bu27 bv25 bv26 bv27 bw25 bw26 and bw27.

By order of Darkman, caretaker of Dark Castle

-- Dweezil [e5q]

THE TURTLE MOVES I would like to thank faction Iconia [zq3] for their reasonable attitude in negotiating my release from captivity.

-- The Great Turtle [s5o]

Wow--a few comments in the newsletter and all kinds of questions about me come up. Some of them must be pretty accurate, especially about Chateau Olympique's owner, sniveler that he is...

-- Tigris Ripclaw [b3f]

Western Ossicus is rather crowded. To prevent banditry all visitors of North Western Ossicus are required to register.

-- Lothar [d4x]

I would like to make a formal announcement that as of today, the first day of the month of "Fierce Winds," in the 6th year of the age of Atnerks, I, Stryder de Ragnar, do hearby proclaim and accept the Royal Crown of the Kingdom of Krussos.

We have remained silent since the beginning, not wanting to be sucked into the torrent of power struggles currently raging in our world. Our position, as regards these warring factions and alliances, is one of TOTAL neutrality.

However, we have twice stated, anonymously at first, that any act of spying would be considered as an act of war on our kingdom. Sadly, the Scrying and placing of storms still persists. We have identified one noble who was detected in this hostile act, and are satisified with the circumstances surrounding this incident.

None the less, let me reiterate in no uncertain terms: DO NOT SPY via Scry, storms, hidden nobles or by any other means. We grow stronger daily, and will use whatever means at our disposal to mete out retribution. If you want to see or know something about our peaceful continent or its loyal subjects, ask or come visit in an honorable fashion. Properly credentialed Ambassadors will be shown the utmost hospitality, including establishment of embassies.

For those of you who would label all factions, we are more than an alliance, we are all members of the Kingdom of Krussos.

Those who request permission to visit from myself or my sworn men are welcome. Be reasonable, communicate regularly and do nothing provocative, and your stay will be a most pleasant one.

Blessed be the name of Atnerks, the Grand Creator.

-- Stryder [g2g]


All of Noren is claimed. If you want permission to visit, please contact Duke Marat or his representative(s). No harvesting of resources will be permitted without prior approval.

You have been warned.

Dear Doubter,

"You're gumped, I'm stumped," he harrumphed.

--- Squire

'Tis being said that the reason Muyuki has not been heard from recently, is that she has finally succumbed to the dreaded plague.

This would be a sad loss. Perhaps she could be replaced by Belldandy?


I've been workin' on an arrrrrrrrrrrmy, All this bloody game, I've been workin' on an arrrrrrrrrrrmy, All this bloody game, I've been workin' on an arrrrrrrrrrrmy, All this bloody game, I've been workin' on an arrrrrrrrrrrmy, All this bloody game, When do I get to kill the AOO? Let me at 'em!

May I take your order?

Yeah, I'd like a Baconlet tuce Andtomato on toast. And don't forget extra ketsup.

We'd be quite a bit further along if the boss weren't directionally dyslexic - he'll write us an order to go west and cut some trees, but the forest is to the east, and there's just an ocean to the west! Me and the other nobles have a good giggle - we don't tell him, we just nod. Then, we walk towards the water and stop, and at the end of the month he comes running up and starts yelling. Then we say "But that's what you TOLD us to do sir", and show him the orders. Then he turns red and starts to mutter. Some of the lads are doubled over and shaking, trying to stifle the laughter! They know it's a swift end for a peasant who annoys the boss. But us nobles know we're too valuable, so we can get away with the most droll japes! Bertie's quarrying stone, and he's not going to tell the boss that when he's done, his lads will be too loaded to move, so they'll just sit there the rest of the month. That Bertie, sometimes he just *slays* me!

Toodles, Millard

Come to papa, little AOO. I have a surprise for you.

Is it true Marat is XXY? Well... it's not evidence, but Marta _is_ an anagram for Marat. Duchess Marat? Don't say that to her face; such individuals can be aggressive....

This is your quasi-monthly reminder to tend those opium plants. We're not ready yet, but we will be soon. Harvest opium today, receive uncounted riches tomorrow! Within a year or so we'll pay 12 gold for all the opium you can harvest! Research the anonymous selling skill & avoid the wrath of those who's populations you addict! One opium harvester can bring in 25 pieces a month of opium which you'll be able to sell in the IC for 300 gold! Harvest for one year = 2,400 gold! Twice if you have 2 nobles & increase opium production! & you'll have the good feeling of knowing that your profit come from the AOO's pocket!

-Imperial City Drug Dealers

From Calliope: Come down to Kew in lilac time, In lilac time, in lilac time. Come down to Kew in lilac time, (It isn't far from London). And you shall wander hand in hand With love in summer's wonderland, In lilac-time, in lilac-time, (And oh, so close to London)!

How many times do you have to persuade contract nobles?

Clifford's City Market Database: 107 city market reports and growing Send in a city market report not yet in the database and you will receive a report each week on the commodity of your choice. For further info, write to w4t@g1.pbm.com.

A young noble seen weeping while looking at a parchmnet of paper... because an Illustrated Man's map is more than a tool, it's art!!

Another sword against tyranny joins the Liberty Confederation.

Another book, another school of magic. Time to head to the tower for another few months of research. Too bad these Demon Lords are so difficult to control, or I'd let them continue to explore Hades during my absence; I doubt that they'd do anything but plot revenge against me, however.

Ah, well. With my new knowledge, they will bow before me soon enough. In time, I will surpass the mere label of Sorcerer and select a new, more fitting title...

Happy are those who post no land claims, for they shall harvest the unwary.

AOO flee Chateau like rats heeding apocalyptic prediction!

Isn't it odd how all of the AOO members insist on making people "ask permission" before they can set foot - let alone do a darned thing - in AOO-claimed territory, but don't seem to think that same set of courtesies ought to apply to them? Food for thought brought to you by the "Olympic League of AOO Bashers" (OLAOOB)

verse 7: I shatter Swords and splinter spears; None stands to shieldbreaker. My point's the fount of orphans' tears My edge the widowmaker. Fred Saberhagen The Complete Book of Swords

Plop, plop, fizz, fizz. Oh, what a relief it is!

Hey Pel! We Never forget Ya! See Ya Soon!

Wow, I got some Giant Birds! Let's see if I can breed them!

Oy, I hate having to carry all of this bloody stone around. Its a major pain in the butt. Oh well the castle will be done sooner the more stone I carry. Then I will be ready to wreak havoc and destruction on the world.

Why does the AOO rob the poor to give to the rich? Why does the AOO treat Olympia like a war game?? And why do we let them get away with it???

* Market Survey: I am interested in the further profits of bounty hunting. Serious reward offers considered. Satisfactory payment procedures required. Please submit "serious offers". Killing off the AOO Castle Boss "Marat" for only 1000 gold is not serious. An OLD Book that teaches a magic skill, some Mithril, and some gold is getting warm. Easier targets will command a smaller fee. I will contact you directly if I am willing to pursue your target. I am currently on an assignment for around another 4 turns. * Low Profile Bounty Hunters

Magic is on the rise! The 6th Black Circle has been seen! Non-mages beware!

Two things I have been wondering:

Are there any continents in this land of Olympia that have not been touched by the desolation of war? Is there no stable alliance anywhere that offers peace? Why cant we all just get along?

What about the "unexplored" parts of the atlas at the north and south poles? Werent there brave nobles that were heading in those directions? What did they find? Where are they now?

Ok, so it was a bit more than just two things... Someone please reply!

Now that the AOO is split by internal conflicts as its enemies close in, let's open up the debate on what to do with them. If the rebels who have no known record of banditry want to join our side, should we let them? I know it goes against the spirit of the Resistance, but it would give us a very useful pair of castles in Provinia. What do you say?

Finally, out of the IC! I thought I would never leave.

Row, row, row your boat Gently down the stream Throw AOO overboard And listen to them scream

Well ,I am still waiting to hear from these high and mighty factions. Perhaps they are some sort of "old boys network"?

Where there's a whip...there's a way! Where there's a whip...there's a way! We're gonna march all day, all day, all day!

- Lord of the Rings, Traditional Orcish Marching Tune

Coordinating ship journeys with several factions can be a real pain in the ass. So: make sure you are the only one that has to submit correct orders no matter what the other factions do. (Speaking from experience... )

in deepest darkest Ossicus where the AOO have never been lies the carcus of noble battered to death by troops of the LC Hussar!!!!!

A notice for newcomers to Provinia. The resources in bx23 are being used at the direction of Duke Marat. Bellabane [o3z] Forester of the Wheel

The sky is clearing over the dark woods.

Last month there was smoke seen rising from somewhere on Mt. Olympus; wonder if it was just the cookfires or... if it was the start of something else....

How often to people crash into islands?

How dense are cities on the other continents?

Ossicus - Non-Virgin Territory for Whorehouses The Madam has opened shop!! Wanted: Innkeeper and Dancers for newly constructed Inn Well --- being constructed.

Come Wind! Blow Wrack! The DOOM of the Ancient Orders of Olympians is at hand!

There once was a duke named Marat, Whose handle on honor was flawed. He flipped up his crown, And saw with a frown, That all of his allies were straw.

There are a number of factions from at least three alliances established on East Camaris. Please do not allow the fact that map data has not yet been released deceive you into believing that East Camaris is uninhabited.

Olympian Order of Miyuki Fans (OOMF) News

An update from last month's news:

Apologies from the Draconian Elite are accepted but not necessary. We look forward to their stirring renditions of such ribald classics as "The Boy Stood On The Burning Deck" and "There Once Was a Man From Nantucket".

And to the person posing as a Young Republican last month, you're an obvious imposter. Far from wanting to shut her down, everyone knows that Republicans, both young and old alike, are Miyuki's best customers!

On the other hand, Young Democrats (_very_ Young Democrats we might add) are most often seen in the company, not to mention the laps, of Old Democrats.

On to this month's naughty news:

Well there doesn't seem to be any, other than reports of certain factions that are doing it "Doggie" style to the AOO. We don't know what that means. But we're sure Miyuki would approve.

And don't forget to clear your calenders for the upcoming Second Annual MIYUKI-O-RAMA-THON! There's already rumors that the Goddess of Luv herself will make an appearance this year! (No promises!)

Until next month, Errol Studmuffins

Back to back, they shall take all comers. Yet, for now, they seek no conflict.