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   | The Olympia Times                                        issue g1-35 |
   | Februrary 22, 1995                                                   |
   |                                                                      |
   | turn 35  186 players                               "E Pluribus Unix" |

Questions, comments, to play: info@pbm.com

Olympia PBEM

* * *

As a reliable compass for orientating yourself in life nothing is more useful than to accustom yourself to regarding this world as a place of atonement, a sort of penal colony. When you have done this you will order your expectations of life according to the nature of things and no longer regard the calamities, sufferings, torments and miseries of life as something irregular and not to be expected but will find them entirely in order, well knowing that each of us is here being punished for his existence and each in his own particular way... Regard every man first and foremost as a being who exists only as a consequence of his culpability and whose life is an expiation of the crime of being born.

-- Schopenhauer

* * *

Player-contributed press

Because of fear of unrest and a large influx of immigrants to a continent with low resources, visitors to Eastern Drucartan are asked to procure a visa before entering the area. ( We define Eastern Drucartan as the area of Drucartan that is east of the Uldim Pass).

If you want a visa, please send a message to John Sen[m6f], describing the nobles in the party, the size of the party, and the reason for visiting Eastern Drucartan. There is no fee, and requests will only be refused in rare ( i.e. I am bringing 2000 men to kill all nobles ) circumstances.

-- The Sen Clan [di4]

There was a ship all the other Pirates feared. Even Black, Blue, Red and Yellow Beard. Now the Captain was as rotten as they come, and never once thought to write to his mum!

On.. the.. Marie Celeste.

What's it got? It's got the meanest, cruelest Pirates ever pressed. Bad Boys! Until the Bosun cried from the Crow's Nest... "There's a ship, to the west! Shiver me timbers, Walk the plank, SOS! Swim for shore, pieces of eight, ABANDON SHIP!"

It wasn't magic, or ghostly tricks. What was it? It was down to a bowl of Wheet-a-bix! Wheet-a-bix? Thats why they found no pirates, aboard the...

Marie Celeste!

-- Draconian Elite [fg4]


"I don't know how I ever gamed without it!" -- The Circle of Hope

"Very pleasing to the eye!" -- Ashcraft

"Got them, they're great! No more having to switch windows to peer at an ASCII map!" -- Faction Amber

"These aren't just maps, they're works of art!" -- B. Altmiller, new player.

"The maps are cool!" -- R. Skrenta

"The maps far exceeded my expectations; any new player will likely find the information contained exceedingly valuable.... I am especially impressed by the clarity." -- Crimson Sage


I am now currently assembling data for the second major revision of the maps, which will include more information on Western Provinia, Krussos, the Ossicus/Tollus strait, West Camaris, and more! Revisions will be available to my current customers for half price; for everyone else, the price will go up. This will happen within the next few months, so if you want your map at the cheeper price, get yours today!

Likewise, I am especially interested in gathering information from the far flung corners of the world for the second edition. If you've been thinking about sending me mapping data in exchange for a map, now's the time -- otherwise you may have to wait months to see your area in print.

Remember, newbies flock to blank spaces on the map like flies to honey! But if they see that your area is mapped, they'll know someone is there already, and they'll be more likely to explore elsewhere! Mapping is the best way of keeping your privacy!

What are these maps? They are drawn in 7 colors, with graphical symbols representing all kinds of terrain and internal locations. They are available by surface mail only, when you pay the Illustrated Man (s5e) 50 gold in the Imperial City, or send me the terrain of ten provinces. I will send you a map of Provinia, and a map of the entire known world as well.

EXTRA DEALS!!!>>> We will make custom maps! Let us know the size, scale and quantity of any maps you want made, and we'll quote you a price! Want a blowup of your kingdom five pages wide by five pages high? Write the Illustrated Man (s5e) and we'll talk!

This offer brought to you by...

The Midnight Carnival ___ ||||| /\ =====----`==== oo oo /\ /\

-- The Midnight Carnival [nx2]

Cuius testiculos habes, habeas cardia et cerebellum.

-- The Spanish Inquisition [qe7]

As we near the swamps we have seen some more impressive monsters, but no nobles. It appears that even in Provinia the world is not completely over-populated.

-- Seekers of Knowledge [tt4]

----------------------- S. CAMARIS Update -----------------------

Now to ferret out all those hidden locations. And "dig in" of course.

-- Compte du S. Camaris [b4q]

-- The Crazy Quilters [vn7]

NOTICE is hereby given that the cities of Omournil and Notlbrob, along with nearby environs on the Island of Allasus, are the domain of The Perrovians. Specifically, this includes the provinces of cu07, cv07, cv08, cw06-cw09, cx06-cx09, cy06-cy09, and cz09. The designated overseer of these lands is Ethan Rhogam [x8k]. Having legally been granted this fiefdom by the noble King-Claimant Tiglath, we are one of the factions collectively referred to as The Lords of Allasus. With prior notification, peaceful visitors are welcome in our lands. Arrival without prior notification is most unwise.

-- Serobyn [h8e]

My thanks to the PILGRIMS AID SOCIETY for telling me that Deserts too produce stone (and in the process reminding me to read the rules more carefully). Thanks Again!

-- Corlin Singer [n0i]

Pilgrims Aid Society

Have you seen a castle or garrison which hasn't been included in the Land Claim Log? Send it in to be added to the next version. Free publications like the Atlas and the Log depend upon you contributions to remain accurate.

-- Akmall Benhalla [p3p]


The Brotherhood of Ormos claims the city of Avalon [ao0k] and all lands and resources inside the boundary of [bp05]-[bp08]-[br06] -[br09] inclusive, as its sole and lawful demense. Those wishing to visit Ormos are required to request a visa and await clearance before attempting to make landfall. All unauthorized visitors are unwelcome and looked upon with extreme prejudice. Captains needing to make landfall at Avalon for emergency repairs will not be molested, but are still required to contact me for a visa.

-- Pelinore Dragonslayer [p4s]

Visitors are welcome to the area controlled by the Cohorts of Colossus [vo4], as long as they obtain travel permits first. Not all requests will be granted. The affected area includes the land provinces bounded by bx25 and bz27.

To avoid possible misunderstandings, do not enter this area without a permit.

-- Sheriff Pelenth of Gentlewind [f3i]

Okay people, prices in the IC are as low as they're gonna' get. NOW BUY MY STUFF!

Also, I'm in desperate need of Lana bark, & I will have such need in the IC or environs until I get some. If anybody has some, find a way to ship it to the IC & we can work out a deal.

-- Dixtheus [e3i]

Seen in the Imperial City last month:

7: A dark shadow briefly obscures the sun, then is gone.

This can't be good.

-- Dixtheus [e3i]

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Tired of remembering the code number for "Perform Common Tasks for Gold?" Ever lose valuable time because you inverted those pesky numbers in orders? Ever drop the wrong item? Nothing like issuing "drop 1 95" instead of "drop 95 1" to ruin your whole month! If this has ever happened to you, you need - DISPATCHomatic!

DISPATCHomatic is a Perl script which replaces English words with Olympia codes. DISPATCHomatic provides some syntax checking, and can also mail the orders automatically*!

What does all of this cost you? 500 gold? Less. 200 gold? No. DISPATCHomatic is ABSOLUTELY FREE.

Send email to Mandrake with five province reports not in the Atlas, and I'll send you the program. If you send a city report, or 10 province reports not in the atlas, I'll provide free automatic updates as I improve the program.

*DISPATCHomatic has only been tested on Un*x workstations. The Perl utility is required.

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-- Sherlock [r0k]

Attention all Ossicians! We are coming & we are many. We only want peace with our neighbors and our own little corner of the continent. All Ossicians are encouraged to contact me so that we may devise ways to be friendly neighbors with one another. Also, we don't want to land in your front yard: we want our own front yard. Let's get the settling of this continent off on the right foot!

-- Norc of Trivendale [z1a]

This is monthly notice if you wish to visit the environs of Cycarth and Redwine please be courteous enough to let m9l know (you can reach him at heyman@camis.stanford.edu. I do not currently plan to restrict access, but would like to know who is wandering around in my front yard. I would especially like to know if you plan on using any of the natural rsources (peasants, wood, and the like) in the provinces bt25 bt26 bt27 bu25 bu26 bu27 bv25 bv26 bv27 bw25 bw26 and bw27.

By order of Darkman, caretaker of Dark Castle

-- Dweezil [e5q]

The Olympia Atlas is accepting contributions, and is available for download! Be the first to contribute information for unexplored lands (Faery).

In the tradition of Oleg's Map (tm), the Atlas is a compilation of geographical information useful for explorers, traders, and adventurers. Best of all, it's absolutely free!

To contribute to the Atlas, simply send turn excerpts (cut out all the incriminating parts) that contain the following information:

o) Mapping data (region & route info) o) City market reports o) City skills lists o) Inner locations

and send it to sx6@g1.pbm.com. We'll include it into the next version of the Atlas.

The Atlas is available by ftp from your nearest PBM ftp site (ftp.erg.sri.com in the USA, check the PBM FAQ for other sites), in the directory /pub/pbm/olympia, as atlas.X, where X is the turn of the last update.

The Atlas is also available on the PBMGames forum on CompuServe, in the fantasy games section, as atlas.oly.

Brought to you by the Skulking Vermin (sx6)

-- Sludge [x0o]

Journal - Snowmelt, Year 5

Deserted it seems. We wonder around looking for our companions. Rand and his band do remain true. It seems to be time to settle down.

The Lord of the Morning, The Dragon,

-- Lews Therin Telamon [m3m]

I, Thales, Lord of Amnon-Re, was long an adherant of the Flat World Society, and kept company with one Oleg the Loudmouth, whose name is so well practiced by the writers of this journal. For more than four years I have listened to his proclamations of virtue, and his descriptions of the atrocities of the Ancient Order of Olympia, upon whose name I dutifully spat. That was until last month, when I heard described for the first time how the most righteous Oleg plotted against Chateau Olympique, aided an attempt at its capture, generally maligned all the members of the AOO, regardless of whether their behavior had been honorable or not. I also heard how some members of the AOO did not take kindly to being tarred with such a broad brush, and I have seen the expression of their anger, a most impressive display. I therefore renounce my affiliation with The Flat Earth Society, and particularly with those who would cloak their hostile intent in righteousness.

Thales, Duke of Amnon-Re

-- Thales [e8q]

Chateau Olympique is home to a sniveling mama's boy who behaves traitorously and violently and who cries like a baby when his early demise is called for in retaliation for his senseless attacks. 1000 gold to the first noble to kill him!

-- Captain Tarkus [c1s]


Anyone want to buy a ship? I am currently making ships in the imperial city. roundships galleys or galleys with rams all made to order. Here is a list of prices:

galley: 400 gold and 50 wood. or just 1000 gold

ram 50 gold, one iron and three wood. or 85 gold and one iron or 90 gold nad three wood or just 125 gold

roundship 600 gold and 100 wood. or 1200 gold and 50 wood or just 1800 gold.

I will also consider barter, see me for details. -carioca@io.com

-- Jorge da Selva [v5p]


Phase two of developmental civilization is when people stop discovering valuable things lying unowned in the wilderness and start noticing valuable owned things held under husbandry by their neighbors. It is at this point that the character of the civilization begins to emerge. Does a society based upon mutualism and barter emerge, or does a predatory ethos rule? A subtle indication of the possible path of Olympian future can be gleaned from observing the traffic at the major battle simulators. In short, keep the ammo dry, Dolores, there are going to be guests for dinner soon.

Q: How many members of the Liberty Confederacy does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: All of them, but it'll never get changed because the committee can't decide what wattage the new one should be.

So we arrive in the Imperial City, ready to make our fortunes. What does this strange land have in store for us? Only time will tell...

"Peace is noble, peace is good, Peace is Marat's neck on a block of wood; Truth is wonderful, good will is great, Justice is Marat's head on a silver plate!"

Dear Adam,

I inquire of the squire, are you a verifier or just a tad higher than any flyer?

--- Doubter

AOO: The sights, the smells, the thrill of danger, the heady combination of hormones and excessive drinking, the knowledge that half the planet wants your head on a pike and the other half loathes your very being. Ah, that's the life for me!

So, just wondering, like, who's the richest? I don't think anyone could be a millionaire yet, 500k could just be possible. I'd bet on 250k max.

PS - Please post whether you're single, and whether you live in a community property kingdom.

PPS - Miyuki says I'm a bimbo, but I think she's just a slut! ciao, A. Blond

Overheard on Tollus: Oops.

Nasty Truths Dept.: Oleg and Marat are the same person, in two bodies.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

Oleg the Loudmouth has accomplished a great victory! The troops occupying his castle on Tollus will run out of money in only 300 turns or so! With such strategic brilliance at the helm, the dread AOO is sure to fall!


Clifford knows where ROSE PERFUME can be sold. So try Clifford's City Market Database: 89 city market reports, including where YOU can sell rose perfume. Send in a city market report not yet in the database and you will receive a report each week on the commodity of your choice, with the rose perfume commodity report thrown in for free. For further info, write to w4t@g1.pbm.com.

Is MAFOC a creation of the AOO elite? Is the AOO really a figment of Oleg's imagination (too many oogla nuts, perhaps)? From whose closet have all these Skeletons come, and what is their connection with the marital problems of the Emperor? Find out next time on Geraldo.

Finally it seemed to certain of them that the time had come.

It appeared to them that civilization was not far away, and where there was civilization there were people.

And people could be asked that same question that had dogged them for so many months. Perhaps now an answer would be forthcoming.

The gaunt man was less than optimistic. "They'll lie. Would you tell the truth if you'd done it? Come now, tell the truth." For a while there was nothing but silence, amongst the tall trees in that unnamed forest somewhere in Ossicus.

Wide open plains with clear blue skies overhead, but AOO is drawing near.

The plains spread before him in endless waves of grass rippling in the wind. The orc searched the area ahead for signs of life, but only emptiness greeted his gaze. Satisfied, he rose to his feet and started to run, the smooth, mile-eating lope that could only be matched by the four-legged beasts of this land. As he ran, the orc fingered the emblem fastened to his belt, a disk of embossed and dyed leather showing a black hound on a red field. He grinned, revealing a disconcerting number of tusk-like teeth, recalling his new master. Then his attention returned to his hunt. None would set foot on these lands without him knowing!

Many days travel to the south and west, the squeal of ropes and creak of strained wood heralded the rise of a large, triangular stone into the air. "Pull!" the crew foreman called, and the workers again strained at the ropes leading into the pulley, and the stone rose higher. Moments later, a second crew swung the stone to one side and held it as the first crew lowered it into place, bridging the gap in an arch of stonework. Support timbers were knocked away, leaving the massive portal standing on its own.

An older noble stepped under the arch and carefully he examined the set of the stones, as the workmen gathered quietly, watching from a respectful distance. He then turned to look inside the high walls that the gateway breached. Before him stood the inner keep, its thick walls and narrow windows were clearly built for defense. Above the entrance to the keep the symbol of the turning wheel had been carved. A single tower soared high above the rest of the structure.

The noble turned back to face the assembled workmen. "Done." he pronounced.

The Gods be praised! The resurrection worked and my friend is restored to life. Now we can once again explore this land together!




DRAG-SHOW-THURSDAYS! (Our Queens are hotter than Miyuki!)

DANCE-YOUR-CHAIN-MAIL-OFF-SATURDAYS! (Get sweaty with Provenias finest!)


Heard from an old witch: MAFOC is coming! Run for the hills. The aoo will soon taste defeat. Only the scared and timid will be left in Olympia.

For sale in Imperial City next turn: yew, longbows and archers, contact jeremy@insignia.co.uk for prices and timing details

We interupt our locally schedualled program for this special news update...

A school of baracudas has just swarmed a recreational beach turning a recreational swim into a blood bath. Angry peasants blame lax-a-daisy lifeguarding habits of the Royal Life Guard. Local vampires guild spokesman says that this is the sign that they were waiting for and predictis that nocturnal activities will be on the rise. The complete story at 19:00.

Hmmm, I am beginning to think that these are not my friends. They look like my friends, but they are acting kind of funny. They have this strange look in their eyes. I have tried asking them about this, but they just look at me and say nothing. I will try to find out more when we dock next month.

Is there going to be an OlympiaII?

verse 1: Who holds Coinspinner knows good odds Whichever move he make But the Sword of Chance, to please the gods, Slips from him like a snake. by Fred Saberhagen

A notice for newcomers to Provinia. The resources in bx23 are being used at the direction of Duke Marat. Bellabane [o3z] Forester of the Wheel

Provinian trade route info available. Consist of 3 trade routes running through Provinia that can be run seperately or as one. Total cost: none... it's worthless to me since I'm persona non grata.

Post message of interest to _The Enquirer_ with *FACTION I.D.* if interested.

Anyone else think that there is price gouging in the Imperial City?

Hello, hello. What`s going on here then?

Wanted: 10 year supply of Prozac. Must be the good stuff please. Will pay ANY amount. (I'm desperate.) -A.E. Housman

* Market Survey: I am interested in the further profits of bounty hunting. Serious reward offers considered. Satisfactory payment procedures required. Please submit "serious offers". Killing off the AOO Castle Boss "Marat" for only 1000 gold is not serious. An OLD Book that teaches Necromancy, 10 Mithril, and 2000 gold is getting warm. This would cost me hundreds of beasts and men and the enmity of some nasty folks. I will contact you directly if I am willing to pursue your target. I am currently completing a contract and will be available in 1 or 2 turns. * Low Profile Bounty Hunters

He had though himself so lucky when he found the fairy band and they had been friendly to him. If he couldnt turn a healthy profit out of their goodwill. Well, then he didnt deserve to be called a trader. But there was that game, that contest, that they always wanted to play. How many fairys can ride a human ? He no longer kept track of the record, but it must be in the thousands. At first it wasnt bad in fact he may have enjoyed it but they had soon discovered that a lot more of them could ride if they got inside his clothes. Not in his pockets but in his clothes right against his skin. And by all the names of all the gods, the flutter of their little wings tickled. No, Not just a little, but a lot, Everywhere at once. And to make it worse he had started to think that the object of the contest had changed from how many of them could ride a human to how long they could torture the stupid human.

Wheels within wheels; The dark power grows Dragons fly; Magic walks the land Stealth is the only hope

Olympian Order of Miyuki Fans (OOMF) update: -------------------------------------------- From all accounts, last months 1st Annual MIYUKI-O-RAMA-THON! was a literally smashing success, with major property damage, a few hundred arrests, heavy casualties and several confirmed deaths being reported. Obviously a good time was had by all the survivors! We'll have a full account of events for the Times just as soon as our OOMF members are released from the prison infirmary.

Book Beat:

The OOMF wishes to heartily endorse one of the excellent new Arthur Haket novels mentioned in the Times article "Plagiarism Made Easy":

Gone Like A Breeze - The story of a beautiful young noblewoman coming of age during the AOO-IN war.

The second printing of this literary masterwork will carry the subtitle "The Miyuki Saga" since it's clear that Miyuki O'Brien is the beautiful young noblewoman being referred to.

Join the Campaign for a Moral Olympia!

--Kill undead on sight!--

Remember, Necromancers are supposed to be hated by all civilized men. Let's demonstrate some of that hatred and rid the face of Olympia of the legions of Undead.

Apollo The Bard's Balladry Box

The Lady of Shalott Alfred, Lord Tennyson continues

Sometimes a troop of damsels glad, An abbot on an ambling pad, Sometimes a curly shepherd lad, Or long-haired page in crimson clad, Goes by to towered Camelot; And sometimes thro' the mirror blue The knights come riding two and two: She hath no loyal knight and true, The Lady of Shalott.

But in her web she still delights To weave the mirror's magic sights, For often thro' the silent nights A funeral, with plumes and lights, And music, went to Camelot: Or when the moon was overhead, Came two young lovers lately wed; `I am half sick of shadows,' said The Lady of Shalott.


** ANNOUNCEMENT ** GRAVEDIGGERS UNION MEETING scheduled for Season 'Blossom Bloom'

Bring all grievences to Jimmy 'the Nose' Graves Remember the Pledge! "NO MAN planted without a UNION LABEL!"

The Holy Order of Landscape Engineers

All the graveyards in the world are paths leading to the City of the Dead and Death is the key that will unlock the secrets of that City. It is written that there will come a sorcerer of such might and knowledge, a sorcerer who will pass through the Portals of Death; that sorcerer will rule the City, and all the Legions of Undead therein contained. Woe to Olympia then!

Anyone with claims to NW Ossicus please publish them.

Now, grasshopper, what you don't realize is that the AOO is not an alliance confined to any particular area. While they have strong points, there are AOO lords -- some open, some not -- and armies on almost every continent and most seas. If you annoy an AOO lord, he will not send all his armies and sorcerors after you, unless of course it was a mortal insult.

Instead you will become persona non grata. So will all the other nobles from your faction. And all the nobles from allied factions. All of them will be attacked on sight by all the major AOO armies. Then the AOO will wait. For they are very patient and they don't ever forget or forgive. The next month or years later, no matter where you are, or where you go, you will run into one of their armies. And then you die as many other hapless nobles and whole factions have done before you.

And don't think you can escape their notice by stealth or subterfuge. For the AOO has many armies, but more spies. All their reports are sent to the basement of the Chateau Olympique where a vast number of trained gerbils collects, sorts, analyzes and correlates them. This should explain both the famous "gerbil mystery" and why the AOO seems to know everything and everybody.

So, young noble, avoid the AOO if you want to, but don't ever cross them.

The latest maps show that explorers are drawing to within 6 squares of the southren edge of the world! Have any fallen off the edge, yet??

Rumor has it that the Forces of Chaos are at present bidding their time... Once a force of sufficient strength has been assembled, then the AOO will get the reward they so richly deserve... heh heh heh!

There is a lot of bad press on the AOO at the moment. It seems to be a lot of fighting going on between AOO and the rest of Olympia. Would anybody from AOO care to tell us their side of the story- or should us far away from Provinia assume you ARE bad guys?

How much longer shall the inhabitants of this realm suffer under the oppressive thumb of the AOO? Surely if we band together we can take them!

It is rumored that Ferretlord has many fine beasts for sale at reasonable prices. It is not known whether ferrets are among his wares.