minstrel: translation: comments?

[Jennifer Friedman]

Good evening all...

Today during a quiet moment at work (I have so few of those, I like to make
good use of them) I was browsing a website with art song texts, and found a
few French ones by Clement Marot (1496-1544).  Now I have an almost totally
useless bachelors' degree in French, and decided to put it to use for once
and do a little translation...what do people think?

D'Anne qui me jecta de la neige

 Anne par jeu me jecta de la neige
 Que je cuidoys froide certainement:
 Mais c'estoit feu, l'expérience en ay-je
 Car embrasé je fuz soubdainement
 Puisque le feu loge secretement
 Dedans la neige, où trouveray-je place
 Pour n'ardre point? Anne, ta seule grâce
 Estaindre peut le feu que je sens bien
 Non point par eau, par neige, ne par glace,
 Mais par sentir ung feu pareil au mien.

------
Of Anne, who threw me in the snow

 Anne, as a game, threw me in the snow,
 Which should have made me feel very cold.
 Instead it made the fire inside me grow,
 Because in my arms I did sweet Anne hold.
 Since fire in drifts of snow burns flaming gold,
 Where can a faithful lover ever find
 A place where he is safe from flames?  Be kind,
 Anne, drown the dancing fire which burns me so,
 Not with the snow or ice or water, mind,
 But with your loving flame, strong as my own.

tr. J. Friedman, 12/13/00

Eliane
who likes translation as an exercise in writing English verse without
having to come up with her own ideas!

p.s.--The art song text website: http://www.recmusic.org/lieder/
----------------------------------------------------------------
Lady Eliane Halevy, AoA, OC, mka Jennifer Friedman
Shire of Rokeclif, Principality of Northshield, Middle Kingdom
Bard of Rokeclif, A.S. XXXV-XXXVI
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/6461/
1920 Victory St. #10, La Crosse, WI, 54601
(608) 788-8781     jfriedmn at PressEnter.com
Shire of Rokeclif webpage:  http://rokeclif.n3.net
Northshield Choir webpage:  
     http://www.geocities.com/Athens/6461/nscmidis.htm


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