minstrel: Getting kicked out of a bardic circle

William and Scianna Augustine Peregrine.Ent at worldnet.att.net
Tue Sep 16 19:32:24 PDT 1997

Alexandria Long wrote:
> Has anyone ever actually gotten "kicked out" of a bardic circle?

Yes! And rather violently, too. I believe the specific infraction
related to Rule #4, shown below. (I used this list in a workshop for
novice bards.)

	The Top Ten Ways to Ensure You’ll Never Be Asked To Perform At A Bardic
Circle Again

	1.	Be coy about performing. Allow your friends to cajole and beg you to
perform for several minutes before you actually agree to sing.

	2. 	Once you’ve agreed to perform, loudly question the taste of those
who invited you. Insult as many listeners as possible.

	3.	Apologize profusely for what you’re about to perform.
	4.	Pick a song that’s inappropriate for your audience and the mood of
the gathering.
	5.	Make several false starts, and apologize for each one.

	6.	Sing so softly that it’s impossible to hear your voice over the
campfire. Refuse to stand if that would help you be heard.

	7.	If possible, stop the song in the middle, declaring you can’t
continue. Any reason will do.

	8.	Hog the stage and refuse to leave. If you stand there long enough,
maybe you’ll think of something else to do. 

	9.	Apologize profusely after you’re done.

	10.	Find your friends and ask, “How did I do? Did you like it? Do you
think they liked me? Really, I want to know.”


"If a man were permitted to make all the ballads,
he need not care who should make the laws of a nation."

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