minstrel: Re: Need some critique

[J. Michael Shew]

	I have been writing a little piece on commission for another SCA
member.  I would like someone to critique it for me.  Feel free:

	Bridgit
The hum of the harpstrings   The hush of the trees
The raging of fire   The rythum of toil
The sob of a child    The song of the wind
The pace of the plow   As it turns up the soil

	(Chorus)
These are the cycles we see in the meadow
The flower that withers to rise up in spring
Winter to summer and summer to winter
We pray to the goddess we see them again

The clamour of children   The keening of widows
The slumber of babies   The smelting of ore
The sowing of seed    The snow on the mountains
The mead from the honey    The magic of lore
	
(Chorus)

There in the distance   High on the downs
The circle of hedges   That hallows her fane
She who is watching   the mother, the maker
Bright as the sun    and Brigit her name

(chorus)

There in the cities   In the cathedrals
They sing for the Christ   The god who was slain
But here in the meadow   We mind her fire
And wait for the time    When she triumphs again

(chours)

	So.  How is it?
	Mikal Hrafspa

____________________________________________________________________________
    Mikal the Ram; an annoying Bard of no redeeming qualities
__________________________(jshewkc at pei.edu)________________________________
	That he is bright, let no man boast
	But take good heed of his tounge
	The silent sage , will seldom need grief
	They are honored here in the hall
	A friend more faithful, you will never find
	Than a shrewd head on your shoulders
			The Hamaval  (translation mine)



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