minstrel: Re:Topic-Honor, Form ABAB

[Mike Baker]

Moirin ni Bhriain (Maureen S. O'Brien) offered up a lovely summary of an old 
tale:
> Well, I'd better send this out before we get onto another topic....

As *I* understand the format, by identifying the topic in the Subject 
header, we should be able to consider any topic at any time within the 
structure of criticism.

> And I'll be interested to know what the folks who do know the story think
> of my interpretation.

"I liked it."  Summarizes all the major points while retaining enough detail 
to preserve enjoyment of the tale. I retain the same impression obtained 
from most recountings of this sequence that the particulars have been 
changed (possibly for the worse) through contact with / preservation by 
Church clerical scribes.  (The beddings and weddings of pre-Padraig Eire did 
not to the best of my knowledge follow the Christian beliefs concerning 
"propriety", esp. among the noble classes...)

Now, to particulars of construction:

> Diarmuid, Grainne and Fionn
> by Moirin ni Bhriain (mka Maureen O'Brien)

> It was not mac Cumhal's sin
> To follow his bride and friend's running.
> But it was wrong that brave Fionn
> Mixed hate into his speed and cunning.

I would have chosen "with" instead of "into" -- feels like it might match to 
the rhythm better, esp. as "Mixed hate with his speed and his cunning". 
 That might also strengthen the identification with Fionn (HIS speed, HIS 
cunning).

> It is his honor's reward --
> The Fianna mourned for their brother.
> It is the edge of that sword --
> Fionn and Grainne were left with each other.

"his honor's" -- *I* know that the reference is Diarmuid, a listening 
audience might be expected to pick up on that based on gesture & inflection. 
 I offer the alternative "Diarmuid gained honor's reward --" to reinforce 
who got what in the end. However, that degree of change might mess too much 
with the meter of the line (my pronunciation of many Gaelic / Irish / 
related words is not necessarily correct, and I may be shoveling in too many 
pronounced syllables).

> Btw -- in my dialect, want and hunt are a perfect rhyme.

No probs with that to my ear.

> This really ought to be Irish rhyme instead of the regular kind -- but 
there were
> poems with normal rhyme written throughout period. Hope you like it!

OK, I'll bite. "Irish rhyme"? (I'll probably recognize it to see it, but for 
whatever reason the reference eludes me at the moment.)

BTW, it is very *very* good to see your work here.  I like to keep track of 
old acquaintances, regardless of where I "met" them first!

Kihe Blackeagle (the Dreamsinger Bard)  s.k.a. Amr ibn Majid al-Bakri 
al-Amra
     currently residing in Barony of the Steppes, Kingdom of Ansteorra
Mike C. Baker                      mbaker at rapp.com
Any opinions expressed are obviously my own unless explicitly stated 
otherwise! 
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