hist-brewing: Aaah Ha!Ha!Ha! 1/27/99

Baden,Doug baden at oclc.org
Mon Feb 1 08:58:58 PST 1999


This was sent to me.

I always wanted to breathe fire....

Doug Baden    My opinions are my own. 
When I see "And it is obvious that" I know that
I have many hours of work to see the obvious...


-----Original Message-----

>> TOKYO-What do an unemployed stockbroker, a karaoke bar and a beer company
>> have in common? They are all involved in lawsuits over a beer that
fizzles
>> from hydrogen.
>> The Asaka Beer corporation brews "Suiso" brand beer, where the carbon
>> dioxide normally has been replaced by the hydrogen gas which provides a
>> fun side effect of increasing the voice and thus has made the beer
>> extremely popular at karaoke sing-along bars. Hydrogen, like helium, is a
>> gas lighter than air. Exploiting this quirk of physics, men can now sing
>> soprano parts on karaoke sing-along machines after consuming a big gulp
of
>> Suiso beer. The flammable nature of hydrogen has also become popular as
>> singer ignite flames from their mouth using a cigarette.
>> Mr.Otoma, a now out-of-work stockbroker is suing the Tike-Take Karaoke
bar
>> and the Asaka brewery for selling toxic substances and is claiming
damages
>> for grievous bodily harm leading to the loss of his job.  The bar is
>> countersuing for defamation and loss of customers.
>> "Mr. Otoma has no-one to blame but himself.  If he had not become drunk
>> and disorderly, none of this would have happened.  Our security guards
>> undergo the most careful screening and training before they are allowed
to
>> deal with customers," said the manager of the Tike-Take bar.
>> It seems Mr. Otoma drank fifteen bottles of hydrogen beer so he could
>> maximize the size of the flames he could belch during a singing contest.
>> He catapulted balls of fire across the room but was unable to win first
>> prize since the judgement is not made on the quality of the flames but
>> rather that of the singing. He apparently was singing badly out of tune
>> after fifteen bottles of the bubbly beer. Taking offense at his loss he
>> belched blue fireballs at the judge which burned off her eyebrows, lashes
>> and ruined her clothes not to mention her hairdo.
>> Mr. Otoma was unapproachable by security guards as he was quite literally
>> a fire-breathing dragon. A swift guard swept his feet out from under him.
>> The manager continues,  "The laws of physics are not to be disobeyed, and
>> the force that propelled Mr. Otoma's legs backwards also pivoted around
>> his center of gravity and moved his upper body forward with equal
>> velocity.  It was his own fault he had his mouth open for the next belch,
>> his own fault he held a lighted cigarette in front of it and it is own
>> fault he swallowed that cigarette."
>> The Tike-Take bar assumes no responsibility for the subsequent internal
>> combustion, rupture of his stomach lining, nor the third degree burns to
>> his esophagus, larynx and sinuses as the exploding gases forced their way
>> out of his body.  His consequential muteness and loss of employment are,
>> according to the manager, "his own fault."



-------------------------------------------------------------------------
To unsubscribe from this list, send email to majordomo at pbm.com containing
the words "unsubscribe hist-brewing" (or unsubscribe hist-brewing-digest, if
you get the digest.) To contact a human about problems, send mail to
owner-hist-brewing at pbm.com



More information about the hist-brewing mailing list